Brave Things

Posted on April 22, 2021 by B

Today I did something hella scary.

If you’ve been following my Instagram, you already know that lately I’ve been trying to embrace things that have previously intimidated me. Some of those things have included sharing a picture of myself in a bikini (which I’ve avoided for years) and singing in public (even though it is just karaoke).

Which brings me to today’s challenge:

Seven years ago a dear friend of mine who is also a brilliant photographer convinced me to pose for a series of photos in which I’m wearing…well, not much. I made him promise that the photos would never see the light of day and he kept his word. At least until today. On my mission to be more daring I decided to post one of the photos online and it is probably the most frightening task I have tackled so far.

I grew up in a household where body positivity was encouraged. Even though we were taught that all bodies were beautiful, as I got older I began to think that mine was the exception to the rule. The kids started bullying me about it at school. I was told that I was so ugly that I should die and the teasing became so relentless eventually I began to believe them. I felt ashamed and covered up my body and hid as much as I could. I hid for years.

Now that I’m older and learning more about myself, I’ve come to the realization that I had let other people dictate my own narrative. I had let other people’s views influence how I felt about myself. Worse, I had given these people way more credit than they deserved by accepting their comments and insults as the absolute truth. Why on earth would I value the opinion of someone else more than I valued my own? Why would I give another person such power over me?

So today I’m taking my power back. It was a nerve-racking decision but it’s one that I’m proud of. I don’t want to spend the rest my life in hiding. I don’t want to perpetuate stereotypes about what makes a body beautiful. If anything, I want to show other people with low self-esteem issues that it is possible to love yourself. You’re allowed to be proud of your body and you should be- it’s a miracle unto itself. (I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again until you believe me.) If I can learn to find myself beautiful, you can too.

But it also helps to have a really good photographer.

Sometimes I blog about productivity and such, but sometimes I also pretend to be a model for my photographer friends. Sometimes they even let me model their clothes, like my dear friends at Paper Bagged Vintage. Having fun with photography and fashion has worked wonders for my self-esteem. What makes you feel good about yourself? Comment below or let’s talk in private: you can DM me on Insta, or shoot me a line at keepingbusyb@gmail.com.

Your Self-Care Strategy

Posted on November 9, 2020 by B

According to Wikipedia.com, self-care is defined as “any necessary regulatory function which is under individual control, deliberate and self-initiated”. Pyshcentral.com has a slightly simpler definition: the site defines self-care as “any activity that we do deliberately in order to take care of our mental, emotional and physical health.”

Typically speaking, when we think of self-care activities we think of long bubble baths, face masks and other methods of pampering. While these are great ways of practising self-care, your self-care strategy should incorporate any activity that makes you feel restored, refreshed or grounded.

And if you don’t have a self-care strategy, it may be time to incorporate one into your lifestyle. Self-care activities shouldn’t be reserved only for the times when we feel sad, lonely, anxious or depressed. Self-care is something that should ideally be a part of your daily routine in order to nurture your mental health on an ongoing basis. Think about it: you don’t take your car into the shop just when there’s a problem- you take it for maintenance on a regular basis in order to prevent problems down the road. (Pardon the car pun.) Your self-care strategy should act in a similar way- it should be designed to help maintain your equilibrium in order to prevent stress overload or burnout.

Not everyone’s self-care strategy will look the same and will differ with background, experience and lifestyle. It may incorporate several different activities depending on what feels most relaxing and enjoyable to you and may change depending on the moment and your mood. Besides pampering oneself (a part of my own particular self-care strategy) here are some other ways to practice self-care:

Take a short break when you feel tired, frustrated or overwhelmed
Plan something fun to look forward to, like a dream vacation or even a weekend away
Sneak in a short nap (we often lose our ability to focus or make rational decisions when overtired)
Eat a healthy snack (because sometimes you could just be hangry)
Call a friend and vent your frustration, or even better- share happy or funny memories with each other in order to boost your mood
Look through some of your favourite old photos or scrapbooks
Choose a goal to focus on when you feel overwhelmed and write down three steps to make that dream become a reality
Listen to music (and really listen to it, don’t just have it on in the background)
Take a moment to stretch, do jumping jacks or take a walk to reinvigorate yourself
Meditate or practice breathing when you need to relax
Work on a creative hobby, or start up an old one you used to enjoy when you were younger
Plan some time off to do absolutely nothing

By incorporating several different types of activities into your self-care strategy, you give yourself a variety of ways to relax and rejuvenate depending on the situation and your emotional state of mind. Practising this on a regular basis allows us to maintain not only your mental health, but your physical health as well. If you haven’t formed a self-care strategy yet, it’s never too late- pick one of the activities above and start today!

In this day and age we place so many demands on ourselves that sometimes even going about our day-to-day lives is exhausting. As a person who likes to keep busy, I find myself struggling to stay balanced. You can follow my journey here, or click here or here to find more ways to streamline your life to keep it simple.

What are some of the ways that you stay balanced? Give us your advice below, or email your strategies to keepingbusyb@gmail.com

Yes, You Are Stressed

Posted on November 5, 2020 by B

When asked to picture someone who is suffering from stress, the image we create in our minds is of someone who is physically and emotionally agitated. We may picture them as being irritable, quick to anger and being prone to emotional outbursts.

Even though these are all what we consider to be clear signs of stress, there are other ways in which stress can manifest itself physically even if our brains don’t recognize that we could be reaching our breaking points.

Here are some of the ways in which we can experience stress physically:

severe weight loss/gain
lack of concentration/short-term memory problems
headaches or severe muscle tension, especially in the neck, shoulder and back areas
gastrointestinal issues, including heartburn, bloating, cramping and diarrhea
hair-thinning/hair loss
mood swings, depression and/or anxiety
weakened immune system, leading to frequent colds or prolonged illnesses
skin problems such as acne or hives

If you’ve been suffering from two or more of any of the symptoms above within the past week or so, it could be that you’re secretly suffering from stress without even knowing it. Denying that we’re stressed out, or suppressing feelings of pressure are actually coping mechanisms within themselves- it allows us to separate from ourselves mentally and physically long enough to continue to work under pressure.

The problem with this solution is that stress always has a way of catching up to us. (Believe me, I went through the same thing which you can read all about here.) When our bodies start to show signs of stress like the ones described above, it’s a signal that you need to take a break. Our coping mechanisms are just for that- coping- but in the long-term we need to nurture ourselves mentally and physically in order to thrive. This means acknowledging and addressing our stress when it starts to physically appear in our bodies. If we don’t, the consequence we face is burnout and we become incapable of handling any kind of stress at all. (I’ve got some more tips on how to avoid that here.)

Combating stress means taking care of yourself and recognizing when you’ve pushed yourself too far, taken on too much or put yourself under too much pressure. There’s no way to completely eliminate stress from your life but fortunately, if you develop the tools to cope with it in healthy ways you can avoid the physical problems that stress can bring.

What are some of the ways that your body shows you are stressed? What are some of the coping mechanisms you’ve put in place to deal with stress? Share with the class below or send me an email at keepingbusyb@gmail.com

The Problem Beneath the Mask

Posted on November 2, 2020 by B

My high school yearbook is full of good luck messages and fun jokes from friends. It’s funny to look back on them now, especially when I read some of the comments that people left. “Love your smile,” says one. “Thanks for your positive attitude,” says another. I get a kick out of these messages because they paint a picture of a cheerful, motivated teenager. In reality, my high school experience was a lot different: I was severely depressed and most of my classmates didn’t know it.

Of course, some time has passed since then and our society’s conversation about mental health is a lot more open than it was when I was in school. This is probably due to the fact that more and more of us experience these types of issues, sometimes even at an earlier age. The Canadian Mental Health Association reports that almost 58% of Canadians are stressed out. If this is the case, then why do so many people (including myself) feel the need to hide their anxiety and depression?

“Smiling depression”, as it’s commonly referred to, often shows up in people who are seen as ambitious or goal-oriented. Their high standards for themselves and others may lead to dissatisfaction or disappointment when these standards are not reached. These people, myself included, could be labelled as perfectionists. (More about that here.) The ironic thing is that the less perfect a perfectionist’s life becomes, the stronger the need is to “fake it until you make it”, that is, pretend that your life is okay when it isn’t.

If this sounds like you, then you’re not alone. There is an increased pressure in our society to constantly be living our best lives leading us to the conclusion that if we’re not thriving, it means we’re doing something wrong. Truthfully, life isn’t all peaches and cream and trying to live your best life is a struggle that occurs on a daily basis. If we accept this reality, we may find ourselves less inclined to hide behind a mask of happiness and become more honest with each other about our feelings and moods.

You don’t have to hide behind a smile. You are a perfectly imperfect person and those that love you will appreciate you for what you are, no matter what your state of mind.

What are some of the ways that you stay balanced? Give us your advice below, or email your strategies to keepingbusyb@gmail.com.

The Pleasure of a Porch

Posted on May 4, 2020 by B

As soon as the weather hits double digits (Celsius), you’ll find me on my porch with my dog drinking coffee and soaking up that early spring sun. After being cooped up indoors all winter, it’s an experience that I look forward to every year. I always find the first hint of spring to be restorative. It’s a time where I can get excited about all of the events and projects that come with a new season.

Spring is relatively short in this part of the world but even so, it doesn’t take long for my porch to become a hubbub of activity. Already some of my plants are showing new growth and some of my neighbours are following my example and joining me for coffee when the weather is right (six feet apart, of course). It gets even busier during the summertime. My dog and I will spend many an afternoon gardening, sunbathing, writing, reading or merely relaxing. A whole day can go by without me leaving the porch; it usually starts with my morning coffee and ends with a glass of wine with friends.

This will be my eighth spring in this apartment and so far I’ve never been bored. (In fact, I love my porch so much I’ve written about my dreams and plans for it several years in a row: here, here and here.) I’m already anticipating the fun I will have this summer working on and enjoying my little green space in the city.

If you have a porch, balcony or other outdoor space I encourage you to take advantage of it as much as you can this spring and summer. It can be an opportunity to change your routine or environment (even if it means stepping outside for just a couple of minutes). For those of you who don’t have an outdoor space, even just taking a few plants and making your own green sanctuary indoors can do wonders for your well-being and mental health.

Whatever you decide to do this spring and summer, wherever you end up spending it, I hope you make the most of the season!

What are your plans for your outdoor space this year? Comment below or drop me a line at keepingbusyb@gmail.com and tell me all of your hopes and dreams for your outdoor space. Looking for inspiration? I’ve got tons of ideas over on Pinterest.

Take a Look at Yourself and Make a Change

Posted on January 20, 2020 by B

A little while ago I was at a point in my life when I was ready to make a change. (I wrote a little about it here, if you’re interested.) I no longer found the situation I was in to be tolerable and craved a different environment. I quit my full-time job and went back to freelancing. There were other jobs I tried, too, but nothing seemed to ever work out.

It was really frustrating. I had tried to make all of these changes in my life and I was stressed out and feeling sad. I couldn’t understand why. Had I not given up everything negative in my life in order to feel more fulfilled? It was like no matter where I went or what I tried there was always a dark cloud following me.

When I described this feeling to a friend, it suddenly clicked that all of these situations had one common denominator: me. It wasn’t that darkness was following me everywhere; instead, I was the cloud and I was bringing my old thoughts and habits into new situations with me. Yes, maybe a change of scene had been necessary. But I had failed to take a look at myself and recognize the things I needed to work on personally in order to truly effect that change. I was relying on external factors to make me happy when I should have been relying on myself to create my own happiness.

Some people argue that people never change: I believe that people can change if they want to. We often hold onto old beliefs and thought patterns but in order to truly effect change, we need to let go of the behaviours that no longer serve us and try to improve in the areas in which we are lacking. It may be daunting to take such a long, hard look at yourself but it’s well worth it if you’re looking to try something new and make a change.

What have you done in your life recently to make a change? How did you know that you were ready for one? Comment below or share your story by emailing me at keepingbusyb@gmail.com

Looking for more ways to add balance to your life? I like to write about my journey here.

The Hat Trick

Posted on January 9, 2020 by B

This happens to me a lot. I often find myself overwhelmed with the things on my to-do list. Even though I am the self-proclaimed Queen of Lists I sometimes struggle to complete all of the tasks I’ve set out for myself. Sometimes just looking at my list paralyzes me with anxiety and I end up doing nothing as a result. This means I’ll have twice as many things to do the next day and my stress level will soar through the roof.

I have a friend who suffers from the same problem so I asked her how she dealt with her to-do list paralysis. She taught me the hat trick, a way of completing items on your to-do list that eliminates any need to make a decision.

Basically, you write each task on a separate piece of scrap paper, then crumple up each piece and throw them into a hat (or a box, or whatever). Close your eyes and pick up one of those pieces of paper. Whatever is written is the thing you have to do next- no putting it back! Repeat this process until the hat is empty.

When I first heard about this I laughed because it seemed so simple. After trying it though, I’m pleased to report that it’s extremely effective, especially for those who struggle with making decisions. (Ahem. That’s me.)

However, the hat trick only works if your to-do list is organized. Each task needs to be clearly defined and big projects need to be broken down into smaller steps, otherwise you risk the temptation of putting things off even further. (For more on how to do this, click here and here.)

The biggest flaw of the hat trick is that it does not help define priorities. If there are tasks on your to-do list that are time sensitive or a high priority, you need to complete them before performing the hat trick so that they don’t get lost in the shuffle (literally).

It may seem like common sense but some it’s a revelation: taking the decision-making out of the equation can lead to a quicker, more efficient workflow which makes the whole process of completing your to-do list a lot less painful. And- dare I say it- could maybe make it more fun?

What’s your favourite way of dealing with your to-do list? Email me your secrets at keepingbusyb@gmail.com or comment below. Looking for more ways to stay organized and productive? Click here and here.

Welcome to Your New Computer

Posted on January 6, 2020 by B

A little while ago I had to replace the hard drive in my computer and I thought I was going to have a nervous breakdown. Even though I wasn’t exactly starting from scratch (I backed up everything onto an external drive beforehand). it reminded me of how it felt to get a new computer and how exciting and overwhelming the set-up process can be.

If you got a new computer over the holidays, or are looking to do a major overhaul like mine in the future, you want to consider doing the following:

Check the box and make sure you have all of the parts and accessories you need. It’s rare that something is missing, but you’re better safe than sorry.
Make sure you know what you’re getting into. Is there someone or somewhere you can call if you need more information? What does your warranty cover and who is responsible for covering it (the store, the manufacturer, third-party insurance, etc.)?
Check for updates. Depending on how long your computer sat on a shelf in a warehouse, it could be missing crucial software or system updates that should be installed after you fire up that baby for the first time.
Install the programs that you want and uninstall those you don’t need. There’s no sense in wasting extra hard drive space on things you don’t use. (Consider grabbing an uninstalling app to help you with the process.)
Consider safety. Some computers will come with pre-installed security software but you may want to do your own research and take additional safety measures based on your own needs.
Plan your user experience. What would you like to see every time you turn on your computer? How would you like your computer to be used? What can do you do to enhance your workflow? This may involve playing around with your user settings, installing plug-ins on your favourite apps, saving passwords or creating accounts.
Last, but not least, back it up. Make sure you have a way of saving information from your computer in a way that is safe and yet easily accessible to you. (Otherwise you really will have a nervous breakdown.)

Setting up and getting used to a new computer takes time and energy, so make sure you give yourself enough time to play around with it until everything feels right. And hey, if something doesn’t work at first, you can always change it. The beauty of the personal computer is that it was designed to be customized. All the possibilities are there so that you, the user, can have an enjoyable and productive experience. Take them!

Why You Should Keep Your Old Agenda

Posted on January 2, 2020 by B

It’s easy to get caught up in the excitement of purchasing a new planner. The temptation to throw out the old one and start afresh is real but there’s a few reasons as why to you shouldn’t throw out your old agenda (at least not yet).

Unless you keep an excellent diary, your agenda acts as a reminder of what you did every day the past year. This alone can provide a huge amount of valuable information to you. Your planner could act as a record of the shifts you worked, the vacations you took, appointments you had, etc. Having this as a reference could serve you in your future planning needs. (For example, when was the last time you visited the dentist? Took your dog to the vet?)

Every year when I conduct my yearly review, I use my old planner as a guide to help me set up my new one by transferring information such as birthdays, anniversaries and other important dates.

Based on what your schedule looked like last year, you may want to use your agenda to schedule reminders for yourself to visit the doctor, or get your roots touched up.

Looking at all of these dates in your calendar can also help you identify patterns and trends when planning your schedule for next year. For example, last February was so busy that I’ll think twice before scheduling any major project during that time. On the other hand, August is usually such a slow month that I’ll plan to use that time vacationing and working on more personal projects. What are the busiest times of year for you? When are you at your most productive? When do certain clients like to schedule their meetings? Your old planner contains all of this information and more.

I usually like to hold on to my old planner for a year before tossing it, but depending on your storage needs you may find you’re able to hold onto more planners for longer. (Just don’t fall into the trap of holding onto paper for the sake of it!) Not only can they be incredibly useful in identifying productive patterns, they can also provide a fun, nostalgic experience each time you flip through them. For some people, it may just look like an old agenda, but for people like me (and you!) it’s a way of remembering the past and planning for the future.

How long do you hold onto your old agendas for? Do you find this practice useful? Email me at keepingbusyb@gmail.com or comment below and let me know what you do with your old planners. For more organizational and productivity ideas, click here and here.

Doing Business on a Budget

Posted on September 19, 2019 by B

After working with a few small businesses for so many years, I couldn’t help but noticing all the funny little ways each one had of trimming the fat from their budgets. Everyone had their own little system in place to save pennies and it was fun to try incorporate those practices into the way I run my own business.

That’s not to say that I’m stingy when it comes to spending some coin on my business, but when it comes to running a small enterprise I think there will always be moments where we find ourselves tempted to cut costs in order to run as efficiently and simply as possible. Here are some of my favorite ways to do it.

Make it work for you. It’s more important that you identify your own needs for running your business, instead of trying to adhere to someone else’s vision of what your business should look like. Not everyone’s list will look the same. Other things that people deem essential might differ from yours: you might consider a second phone line crucial; and others might scoff at the thought of using anything but email as their prime form of communication.

It’s important to figure out what your bottom line is so you know much (or how little) you can get by with in order for your business to function. If that means foregoing the idea of an office, or a fancy luncheon every day, so be it. You’d be surprised at how refreshing it can be to simplify your routine.

Get creative. Most people dream of having their own home office, but not everyone can afford to make that dream a reality- and not just due to budget constraints. Time, space, lifestyle- each one of these things reflect when, where and how you conduct your business. I’ve seen people with home offices with all of the latest state-of-the-art tech equipment, and I’ve met people who have conducted their business at the dining table after clearing off the dinner dishes. It’s worth exploring alternative ways to make your office hours and office setting work for you– it may be just what you need to cut costs and find a more efficient way of working.

Be realistic. Just because your vision of owning your own business involves going out for a fancy latté every day, it’s a luxury that entrepreneurs can’t always afford. While it would be nice to reward ourselves for our hard work with things like fancy coffees, special office supplies, or a complete office makeover, those things aren’t always possible when you’re first starting out, or if you’re trying to keep your operations small. As soon as you adjust your expectations for a glamorous freelancing lifestyle, the more satisfied you’ll be with your budget-friendly work style.

Of course, there’s always room for compromise– upgrading your regular office coffee maker to a Keurig or even an espresso machine may still be cheaper in the long-term than buying a fancy latté everyday. Or maybe you use your local Starbucks at your office, and the price of coffee counts towards your “rent”, in which case there’s plenty of room to save money on leasehold improvements!

Cutting costs where possible can be a satisfying and even refreshing way of making sure your business is running as cheaply and efficiently as possible. We often convince ourselves we need the latest gadgets, or the most expensive suits to succeed when the truth is that success is often directly correlated with the amount of work we put into something.

A final note: even the most ruthless of budgets should include at least a little room to be generous to ourselves as entrepreneurs. Running a small business is more like a lifestyle than a job, and when we structure our lives around working all the time, it’s important to have a reminder that your work is more than just about paying the bills. You deserve to have some fun!

Even if that means indulging at Starbucks once in a while.

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What are some of the creative ways you’ve come up with to save money while running your own business. Did you sacrifice an office? A phone line? How has this transformed the way you work? Send your stories to me at keepingbusyb@gmail.com or comment below.