Tag Archives: self-care

Brave Things

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Today I did something hella scary.

If you’ve been following my Instagram, you already know that lately I’ve been trying to embrace things that have previously intimidated me. Some of those things have included sharing a picture of myself in a bikini (which I’ve avoided for years) and singing in public (even though it is just karaoke).

Which brings me to today’s challenge:

Seven years ago a dear friend of mine who is also a brilliant photographer convinced me to pose for a series of photos in which I’m wearing…well, not much. I made him promise that the photos would never see the light of day and he kept his word. At least until today. On my mission to be more daring I decided to post one of the photos online and it is probably the most frightening task I have tackled so far.

I grew up in a household where body positivity was encouraged. Even though we were taught that all bodies were beautiful, as I got older I began to think that mine was the exception to the rule. The kids started bullying me about it at school. I was told that I was so ugly that I should die and the teasing became so relentless eventually I began to believe them. I felt ashamed and covered up my body and hid as much as I could. I hid for years.

Now that I’m older and learning more about myself, I’ve come to the realization that I had let other people dictate my own narrative. I had let other people’s views influence how I felt about myself. Worse, I had given these people way more credit than they deserved by accepting their comments and insults as the absolute truth. Why on earth would I value the opinion of someone else more than I valued my own? Why would I give another person such power over me?

So today I’m taking my power back. It was a nerve-racking decision but it’s one that I’m proud of. I don’t want to spend the rest my life in hiding. I don’t want to perpetuate stereotypes about what makes a body beautiful. If anything, I want to show other people with low self-esteem issues that it is possible to love yourself. You’re allowed to be proud of your body and you should be- it’s a miracle unto itself. (I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again until you believe me.) If I can learn to find myself beautiful, you can too.

But it also helps to have a really good photographer.

Sometimes I blog about productivity and such, but sometimes I also pretend to be a model for my photographer friends. Sometimes they even let me model their clothes, like my dear friends at Paper Bagged Vintage. Having fun with photography and fashion has worked wonders for my self-esteem. What makes you feel good about yourself? Comment below or let’s talk in private: you can DM me on Insta, or shoot me a line at keepingbusyb@gmail.com.

 

Your Self-Care Strategy

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According to Wikipedia.com, self-care is defined as “any necessary regulatory function which is under individual control, deliberate and self-initiated”. Pyshcentral.com has a slightly simpler definition: the site defines self-care as “any activity that we do deliberately in order to take care of our mental, emotional and physical health.”

Typically speaking, when we think of self-care activities we think of long bubble baths, face masks and other methods of pampering. While these are great ways of practising self-care, your self-care strategy should incorporate any activity that makes you feel restored, refreshed or grounded.

And if you don’t have a self-care strategy, it may be time to incorporate one into your lifestyle. Self-care activities shouldn’t be reserved only for the times when we feel sad, lonely, anxious or depressed. Self-care is something that should ideally be a part of your daily routine in order to nurture your mental health on an ongoing basis. Think about it: you don’t take your car into the shop just when there’s a problem- you take it for maintenance on a regular basis in order to prevent problems down the road. (Pardon the car pun.) Your self-care strategy should act in a similar way- it should be designed to help maintain your equilibrium in order to prevent stress overload or burnout.

Not everyone’s self-care strategy will look the same and will differ with background, experience and lifestyle. It may incorporate several different activities depending on what feels most relaxing and enjoyable to you and may change depending on the moment and your mood. Besides pampering oneself (a part of my own particular self-care strategy) here are some other ways to practice self-care:

  • Take a short break when you feel tired, frustrated or overwhelmed
  • Plan something fun to look forward to, like a dream vacation or even a weekend away
  • Sneak in a short nap (we often lose our ability to focus or make rational decisions when overtired)
  • Eat a healthy snack (because sometimes you could just be hangry)
  • Call a friend and vent your frustration, or even better- share happy or funny memories with each other in order to boost your mood
  • Look through some of your favourite old photos or scrapbooks
  • Choose a goal to focus on when you feel overwhelmed and write down three steps to make that dream become a reality
  • Listen to music (and really listen to it, don’t just have it on in the background)
  • Take a moment to stretch, do jumping jacks or take a walk to reinvigorate yourself
  • Meditate or practice breathing when you need to relax
  • Work on a creative hobby, or start up an old one you used to enjoy when you were younger
  • Plan some time off to do absolutely nothing

By incorporating several different types of activities into your self-care strategy, you give yourself a variety of ways to relax and rejuvenate depending on the situation and your emotional state of mind. Practising this on a regular basis allows us to maintain not only your mental health, but your physical health as well. If you haven’t formed a self-care strategy yet, it’s never too late- pick one of the activities above and start today!

In this day and age we place so many demands on ourselves that sometimes even going about our day-to-day lives is exhausting. As a person who likes to keep busy, I find myself struggling to stay balanced. You can follow my journey here, or click here or here to find more ways to streamline your life to keep it simple.

What are some of the ways that you stay balanced? Give us your advice below, or email your strategies to keepingbusyb@gmail.com

Take a Look at Yourself and Make a Change

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A little while ago I was at a point in my life when I was ready to make a change. (I wrote a little about it here, if you’re interested.) I no longer found the situation I was in to be tolerable and craved a different environment. I quit my full-time job and went back to freelancing. There were other jobs I tried, too, but nothing seemed to ever work out.

It was really frustrating. I had tried to make all of these changes in my life and I was stressed out and feeling sad. I couldn’t understand why. Had I not given up everything negative in my life in order to feel more fulfilled? It was like no matter where I went or what I tried there was always a dark cloud following me.

When I described this feeling to a friend, it suddenly clicked that all of these situations had one common denominator: me. It wasn’t that darkness was following me everywhere; instead, I was the cloud and I was bringing my old thoughts and habits into new situations with me. Yes, maybe a change of scene had been necessary. But I had failed to take a look at myself and recognize the things I needed to work on personally in order to truly effect that change. I was relying on external factors to make me happy when I should have been relying on myself to create my own happiness.

Some people argue that people never change: I believe that people can change if they want to. We often hold onto old beliefs and thought patterns but in order to truly effect change, we need to let go of the behaviours that no longer serve us and try to improve in the areas in which we are lacking. It may be daunting to take such a long, hard look at yourself but it’s well worth it if you’re looking to try something new and make a change.

What have you done in your life recently to make a change? How did you know that you were ready for one? Comment below or share your story by emailing me at keepingbusyb@gmail.com

Looking for more ways to add balance to your life? I like to write about my journey here.

10 Reasons Being Organized is Good for You

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It actually is. I hear all the naysayers right now: it’s a waste of time! You’re over-complicating things! Organizing makes you anal!
Here’s my favourite (it’s something an ex once said to me): “What’s the point? You’re just organizing for the sake of organizing!”
Well…yeah. That’s kind of the point. Because (say it with me now) organizing is good for you.
Don’t believe me? Here’s some of the reasons why you should:
  • Being organized saves you time and stress getting out the door in the morning.
  • Being organized makes it easier to tidy up, which means you can have guests over without feeling embarrassed or apologizing for the mess
  • Being organized means you can let the dog-sitter/baby-sitter/housekeeper/assistant/house guest know where everything is (and they don’t have to call you in a panic!).
  • Being organized gives you more space to fill your home with the things you really like and want.
  • Being organized means you’ll finally find that thing you’ve been looking for (and saves you from looking for things in the future)
  • Being organized may be the key to finding motivation for that project that you’ve been meaning to take on for awhile.
  • Being organized means you can sail through the holidays with less stress.
  • Being organized saves you money because you’re not constantly replacing lost items, paying for quick fixes, or shopping in a panic.
  • Being organized means being more productive and getting your work done faster.
  • Being organized means you have more time for the people and things that you love.

I’ve found from experience that staying organized is one of the keys to maintain a balanced, more productive lifestyle. I’m trying to figure out the best way to organize my life here, or click here for some of the best methods for managing your time. For more ways to keep it all together, click here.

How do you organize your life? Inquiring minds want to know. Tell us below or send pics of your beautifully organized stuff to keepingbusyb@gmail.com.

5 Rules for Relationships

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I know about love just as much as the next person. In fact, I probably know even less. However, seeing as it is Valentine’s Day and I am in the business of giving advice I thought I would share five rules for relationships that I have developed from what little I’ve learned over the years.

  1. Never stop showing kindness. It’s a way of giving your partner affection and showing that you appreciate them. Even though your feelings may be obvious, it’s still important to remind your partner that those feelings haven’t changed.
  2. Understand that people communicate in different ways. Our style of communication isn’t only about our word choice or turn of phrase. Our body language and our actions also demonstrate how we feel. We need a combination of these techniques to communicate what we’re really thinking and the methods we use influence how we interpret the way other people communicate, which can lead to misunderstandings. It’s important to acknowledge what’s really being said instead of focusing on how your partner is saying it.
  3. Separate the conflict from the relationship. We avoid conflict because we fear it will result in ultimatums: the relationship is over, I’ll never see him again, etc. In fact, being in disagreement with your partner is a sign that you are two separate people, not a sign that your relationship is about to dissolve. Conflict is natural, healthy, and (unfortunately) unavoidable. Arguing with your partner may be uncomfortable, but it’s evidence that you care enough about each other to want to work things out.
  4. But if you do have to fight, fight fair. No name calling. Leave the past in the past. Emotional triggers? Out-of-bounds. Similarly out-of-bounds: your partner’s family, their views on politics, religion, or past relationships. Pay attention to your emotions and focus on exactly what it is you’re fighting about. And there’s no making accusations without having evidence to back them up.
  5. It has to be about you, sometimes. Too often I have seen people lose themselves in a relationship, constantly giving and giving and never receiving in return. Real love is about wanting what’s best for your partner, so your partner needs to understand and respect the decisions you make in order to be your best self. If you practice self-care and cultivate your own independent relationships and interests, you pave the way for a relationship that’s more varied, exciting and healthier for the both of you. Someone who doesn’t want you to do your own thing simply isn’t worthy of you.

In this day and age we place so many demands ourselves that sometimes even going about our day-to-day lives is exhausting. As a person who likes to keep busy, I find myself struggling to stay balanced. You can follow my journey here, or click here or here to find more ways to streamline your life to keep it simple.

What are some of the ways that you stay balanced? Give us your advice below, or email your strategies to keepingbusywithb@gmail.com.

The Friendship Connection

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I can’t start a post about friendship without first acknowledging some of the wonderful friends who have made a difference in my life. They have fed me emotionally, spiritually, and yes, even physically. In some ways they take better care of me then I take care of myself and if you are ever in the position to have friends who are like mine then I hope you consider yourself very lucky, because I know that I am. I’m not going to lie, however, because it took me a long time to find my tribe. Once I did, it took me even longer to realize that friendship is something that you work at- it is an ever-evolving, changing thing.

I used to think that I could be an island and that I never needed anything or any help from anyone. That attitude earned me a lot of really great acquaintances but not many close friends. I guess I was just so worried about feeling vulnerable and insecure I could never really open myself up to anyone. It wasn’t until later on in my life that I realized that true, meaningful connections take work. They require you to not only open yourself up emotionally, but you have to be willing to put in the physical amount of time and effort.

In this day and age, making time for others is not easy! (It’s a struggle even to find time for ourselves.) Consider this, though: study results published in the Scientific American found that having friends can increase our survival rate by up to 50%. This study found that friendships can actually strengthen marriages and this article suggests that friendships can improve our health, lessening the risk of chronic disease and depression (especially among the elderly).

Not that you really need convincing, of course- we all to spend more time with our friends. Especially as social media continues to replace real-life interactions, it’s important to make the effort to get that (real) face time in so that we avoid becoming even more socially isolated. You know what that means- everybody put down your phones, or at the very least, try and make your online interactions meaningful. For example, instead of just liking a post, comment by sharing a memory, answering a question, or starting a conversation. And if you are brave enough to put away your phone, why not do something during and leave it in your purse the next time you grab coffee with a friend so you can actually look at each other.

If we try to build these small connections into our everyday lives, every day we’re making bigger strides to maintain the friendships we’ve worked so hard to build and keep. Even something as small as an out-of-the-blue message can mean a lot. So go ahead- brighten someone’s day today! I dare you to!

In this day and age we place so many demands ourselves that sometimes even going about our day-to-day lives is exhausting. As a person who likes to keep busy, I find myself struggling to stay balanced. You can follow my journey here, or click here or here to find more ways to streamline your life to keep it simple.

What are some of the ways that you stay balanced? Give us your advice below, or email your strategies to keepingbusyb@gmail.com.

5 New Year’s Resolutions You Can Still Make (and Keep!)

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I’m the first person to admit that I have never had much success at making new year’s resolutions, but even so I firmly believe that there is no right time to kick an old habit, start something new or think about the things you can do to improve your life. Self-improvement (much like your professional development) is your own project and there are certain simple things that you can start doing today (yes, today!) that in the long-run can lead to a happier and healthier existence.

Here are a few of my suggestions on some of the things you can do right now (yes, right now!) to feel happier, more relaxed and confident in your abilities.

  1. Practice gratitude, or if that sounds corny, commit to practicing happiness. Every night while you’re lying awake in bed trying to fall asleep, think of three things that gave you joy during the day instead of fretting over the things you can’t control. Better still, write them in your journal.
  2. Drink more water. You drink less water in the wintertime which can contribute to feelings of sluggishness, inattentiveness and fatigue. Pour yourself a glass every time you have a coffee or tea and then marvel at how you can stay awake through a whole movie on Netflix.
  3. Smile more. If you start smiling every time you say hello, you’ll realize how much you don’t actually smile, which is sad because many people believe it’s actually good for you.
  4. Be okay with having a good cry once in awhile. We’re so focused on avoiding negative emotions that we forget that releasing them can actually feel good and dare I say it? Cathartic. Pretending you aren’t in a bad mood doesn’t make things easier so if you’re feeling it, let it out. Your reasons for feeling a certain way aren’t always reasonable but your emotions are there regardless and therefore still have validity. Embrace your melancholy, have a good cry, and then move on with your life.
  5. Stop being a flake. For some of you it may be hard to imagine a time when you couldn’t text someone last minute to bail on plans. During ye olden times if you ditched someone you’d be leaving them alone at a table in a restaurant or stranded at a bus stop. Friends don’t do that to friends right? Make a commitment to do something fun and do it. You may surprise yourself and actually have a good time.

What are some of the simple resolutions you’re trying to put in place this year? Tell us below, or email your strategies to keepingbusywithb@gmail.com.

In this day and age we place so many demands ourselves that sometimes even going about our day-to-day lives is exhausting. As a person who likes to keep busy, I find myself struggling to stay balanced. You can follow my journey here, or click here or here to find more ways to streamline your life to keep it simple.

Cold Weather Blues

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You’ve heard about SAD, right? (Seasonal Affective Disorder) People who have it usually experience feelings of hopelessness, lethargy, and depression starting in the fall and it lasts through the winter months until spring comes along. The further north you live from the equator, the higher your chances are of having SAD. Up here in Canada, it’s estimated that about 15% of us suffer from it.

There’s a couple of theories as to why people develop this disorder, but it all boils down to one thing: the lack of light. It’s been said to throw off our natural circadian rhythms and affect the way our brain produces chemicals. Personally, I think if this is true then we should all suffer to some extent during the winter months– not necessarily because of a disorder, but from something that I like to call the “cold weather blues”. You don’t want to go outside. You don’t want to see friends. You feel more tired than usual. (I get it; me too.)

Fighting drowsiness is the first way to beat it- make sure you still try to get up every morning at the same time and leave the bedroom to avoid the temptation to go back to bed. (Sometimes a change in bedtime is necessary, too!)

Another way to beat it is to inject some fun into your social life. When the weather gets cold we all have to fight the inclination to stay inside– it’s isolating, and you run the risk of becoming even moodier and depressed. Make a pact with your friends (and yourself!) to plan something fun every week. Mark it on your calendar so it gives you something to look forward to. My friends and I like to make dinner for each other and we take turns hosting so there’s less pressure all around. If you’re not an outdoorsy person, make a point of finding fun indoor activities to do around your city– museums, art galleries, rock climbing, laser tag, rollerskating- or hey, why not try watching a movie in a theatre instead of the usual Netflix and chill?

Last (but not least), please give journaling a try. It may feel silly or unnatural at first, but sometimes getting your thoughts out of your head and down on a piece of paper is all that you need to lift yourself out of your temporary funk. On particularly bad days I try to practice my own form of gratitude in my journal: I try to write down all of the good things that happened during my day, no matter how small they were. Remembering all of those things gives me hope that good things happen every day, even if we have to remind ourselves of it once in a while.

If all else fails remind yourself that winter, just like everything, is only temporary. It may seem far off but come springtime you’ll feel the sunshine on your face, and you’ll try to remember what winter felt like, and you’ll laugh because by then it will have become a distant memory.

In this day and age we place so many demands ourselves that sometimes even going about our day-to-day lives is exhausting. As a person who likes to keep busy, I find myself struggling to stay balanced. You can follow my journey here, or click here or here to find more ways to streamline your life to keep it simple.

What are some of the ways that you stay balanced? Give us your advice below, or email your strategies to keepingbusyb@gmail.com.

It’s About Who You Like, Not Who Likes You

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Are you a people-pleaser? Are you always the first to volunteer for something? Do you experience a certain sense of satisfaction when you do something for someone else?

Yeah, that’s me to a T.

I think we all want to be liked (myself included) and one of the easiest ways to endear yourself to people is generosity, whether it be financial, emotional or physical. We think that people will see our kindness and that it will make them like us more. Unfortunately, that is not the truth. People will like you because of the things you do for them, not because of who you are. Worst of all, some of these people will take advantage of your kind nature and you will be so busy trying to please them that you won’t even realize it’s happening.

The other day, a friend flipped the whole thing around for me. “Why do you even want these people to like you?” she asked. “Do you even like them?”

Wait. So I was trying to get people to like me even though I might not necessarily like them? Where was the logic in that? Where was the rule stating that everyone had to like me no matter what?

Do I want to be friends with a bully? Do I want to be friends with someone I think is mean? Rude? Toxic? Fake? Selfish? Ignorant? The answer to all the above is no.

So if I don’t want to be friends with them, why would I even want them to like me? What does it say about my character if they do?

So from now on I’m following my friend’s advice. “Think about the people that you like,” she said. “The people you actually admire, who share your values, who you appreciate as a person. Those are the people whose approval you seek. Those are the people that you target as your friends. If you give, they will give back and you’ll keep on giving to each other because that’s how we take care of each other. That’s how we take care of our friends. We choose the best people for us and we nurture them.”

Easier said than done, especially as you grow older and the opportunities to cultivate our friendships grow fewer and farther between and meeting new people becomes more difficult.

I’m lucky to have been able to surround myself with some really strong, intelligent and talented men and women who are above all things kind, and whose generosity seems to know no limits. These are the the people I like, the people I want to be friends with and at the end of the day, I only care about whether they like me too. (Surprisingly enough, they say yes.)

In this day and age we place so many demands ourselves that sometimes even going about our day-to-day lives is exhausting. As a person who likes to keep busy, I find myself struggling to stay balanced. You can follow my journey here, or click here or here to find more ways to streamline your life to keep it simple.

What are some of the ways that you stay balanced? Give us your advice below, or email your strategies to keepingbusywithb@gmail.com.

The Art of Journaling

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Ever since I was a little girl I’ve had a journal. I even remember my first one. It was baby pink with a puffy cover and came with a tiny lock and key which I promptly lost. At six or seven I wasn’t much of a writer but I still felt the power of having an outlet. Writing in my journal allowed me to give shape to the thoughts and emotions I was experiencing, and gave me a safe way of exploring my imagination and working out my problems.

Over the years I’ve continued to journal and with some exceptions it’s a practice I’ve kept up consistently. Out of all of my self-care activities I have found journaling to be the most helpful. Keep in mind I do not use this as a diary, or a record of my daily routine (although you’re certainly more than welcome to do so). I use more of a free-writing style; I jot down things that I’m feeling or experiencing, or something I want to remember. Sometimes it’s just whatever pops into my mind.

Sometimes waves of thought rage furiously through my head, one after the other, at a pace so roiling and intense that I’ve felt too overwhelmed to choose the right words, or felt that I couldn’t keep up enough to write anything down. Even then putting down something, anything, can act as a form of release. My entries then become bullet lists to organize the sea of my mind, each bullet a complete thought or feeling, without self-censoring or judgement, and with little regard to linear form. (Brains don’t really work like that, anyways.)

There are other ways of expressing yourself through journaling; I know some who use their bullet journals as both a calendar and personal diary. (Some of them are crazy amazing.) Doodle, use colour or stickers, or change up your writing or printing style (i.e., cursive, all-caps, different sizes, etc.)

If you’re a hardcore journal-writer looking to improve your journaling experience, there are entire websites, blogs and books devoted to journal prompts or ideas for list-making. Some books will even give you ideas on how to transform your journaling- for example, Julia Cameron, author of The Artist’s Way, describes this process as writing “morning pages”.

For those who are inexperienced at journaling, there are lots of fun pre-printed journals and books designed for you to destroy, draw all over and make your own. A blank page can be intimidating to even the most seasoned writer, so having your own lists of things to fill out or doodles to finish could be what you need to jumpstart your creativity.

Journaling is a great way to process thoughts and feelings, work out problems, record dreams and experiences and express yourself. It allows yourself to be creative, which helps you with your self-esteem and improves your self-knowledge. Also, journaling has been known to aid in the treatment of depression, anxiety and those suffering from PTSD. If that’s not enough to convince you to pick up a pen and start writing, I don’t know what will!

In this day and age we place so many demands ourselves that sometimes even going about our day-to-day lives is exhausting. As a person who likes to keep busy, I find myself struggling to stay balanced. You can follow my journey here, or click here or here to find more ways to streamline your life to keep it simple.

What are some of the ways that you stay balanced? Give us your advice below, or email your strategies to keepingbusywithb@gmail.com.