Tag Archives: crisis management

That Time My Body Tried to Self-Destruct

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I’ve put off writing this for over a year now. When I first started I felt it was necessary but then it became too difficult and I stopped because I figured no one would be interested . After some time passed I started to wonder if I had done the right thing. I wondered if anyone else had gone through what I had been through. I share this with you today in the hope that there’s someone out there who needs to read it as much is I need to write about it. Consider it a cautionary tale.

Last spring, my body decided to self-destruct. To a casual observer it may have seemed as if it were a long time coming but to me it was a total shock. I didn’t know what was happening to me.

How do I describe myself at that time other than to say I was a mess? I had stopped eating and sleeping and as a result of my stomach was upset all the time and I was exhausted to the point that I was falling asleep in random places. My skin broke out and I started losing my hair. I lost weight and had to go to the doctor, who told me to stop overworking myself.

But I didn’t listen. As my stress levels rose, my health plummeted: I started having frequent panic attacks and crying spells that would last hours. I felt like I couldn’t handle anything and it made me hate myself. I was angry all the time: I’d throw tantrums, I’d throw things and then I would throw myself down on the bed afterwards and wonder about the person that I was becoming.

The final straw occurred when I got sick, really sick, the kind of sick that makes you cancel everything and stay in bed for a week. It made me realize that I was miserable. I hated my life. I knew that if I kept I’m going the way I was I would make myself sicker and at the time the only way out that I could see was to do something drastic.

So I quit my job.

Disclaimer: don’t quit your job. It’s a really risky thing to do, especially when you’re in a bad place. However, it seemed like the only solution to me. I missed freelancing: working from home, getting creative. I wanted to be passionate about something again.

First, I took some time off because it had been seven years since I had had a vacation. I had to teach myself to enjoy once again the little things that used to give me pleasure: reading, journaling, creative writing. It sounds like a lot of fun but reality it wasn’t easy trying to shed the workaholic personality I had developed.

It’s something I’m still working on. I did eventually go back to freelancing (that’s a whole other post) but even then I have learned the importance of following my body’s cues. In doing so, I have to come to discover that if you’re not taking care of yourself on an emotional and physical level you will lose the strength needed to deal with things on a daily basis.

Now that I’m kinder to myself my stress levels have become more manageable. I have more energy and experience better health overall. Sure, I still have my moments/days/weeks but they are getting fewer and farther between.

If any of the above sounds familiar to you than my advice is this: listen to your body because it will tell you when you’ve had enough. It will tell you when it is depleted. It will tell you when the lifestyle you’re leading is wrong.

Deep down inside, you know which things are best for you. Recognize those things, honor those things and try not to let them go.

In this day and age we place so many demands ourselves that sometimes even going about our day-to-day lives is exhausting. As a person who likes to keep busy, I find myself struggling to stay balanced. You can follow my journey here, or click here or here to find more ways to streamline your life to keep it simple.

What are some of the ways that you stay balanced? Give us your advice below, or email your strategies to keepingbusywithb@gmail.com.

Everything You Need for a Safe Vacation

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Getting ready for a vacation is stressful enough as it is for an able-bodied, healthy person, but for someone suffering from an illness or disability taking a holiday can become a nightmare. When we travel we take for granted things like accessibility, mobility and proximity to trained healthcare professionals. It’s this kind of attitude, however, that leaves us unprepared for emergency situations. The best course of action (for any individual, really, regardless of ability) is to put a little more thought into the care that is required for you and your family to have a safe vacation. Is it a drag? Yes. Is it worth it? Totally. The best case scenario is that you have a peaceful, relaxing vacation knowing that you’re covered in an emergency. Worst case scenario is you’ll be grateful you put in the effort ahead of time so you can deal with your crisis as smoothly and efficiently as possible.

Here are some things to consider before you travel in order to have a safe vacation:

Location, location, location. It’s a good idea to do a little research before you travel so you’re up-to-date with the local living conditions (i.e., is there safe drinking water?) and which diseases may be endemic to that region. A travel vaccine clinic or your family doctor may have information on which travel vaccines may be appropriate for you or your family and how often they need to be updated.

It pays to be insured. If you do skip the travel insurance, make sure you’ve got money in reverse in case you incur any medical expenses while traveling.

But know what your insurance covers. You may still incur additional expenses such as medications, etc. that are not covered under your current plan, so it’s best to be prepared. It’s also a good idea to find out ahead of time if there are any implications should you actually have an emergency. It may seem scary to explore the worst-case scenario but you’re better off knowing know that your insurance won’t cover expenses such as prolonged hospital stays or medical transportation.

Accessibility is also key. Do your due diligence and find out where the closest medical facilities are. You may also want to plan your activities with certain conditions in mind, such as proximity to washrooms, accessibility for wheelchairs, etc.

Play by the rules. Find out the customs regulations ahead of time, and make sure you plan accordingly- sometimes a doctor’s note is required to travel with certain medications. And always, always, always pack your pills in their original bottles with the prescription label to clearly identify them as yours.

Finally, go easy on yourself. Don’t push yourself too hard or jam-pack your schedule, or have too strict an itinerary. The idea is to have fun and relax, so choose a trustworthy companion that has a basic understanding of your medical condition. A truly understanding friend will let you know when you’ve pushed your limits, and not be resentful about any rest or recovery time you might need.

Safe travels!

B

Have you faced any challenges while traveling? Do you have any crazy travel stories? Warnings for future travelers? I want to read them all in the comments below, or you can email me at keepingbusyb@gmail.com. Wanna find out more about vacation planning? Click here.

Managing your personal life actually takes a lot of work and organization- even when it seems like it really shouldn’t. Here I’ve researched all the many ways I could make my life easier here, from choosing an outfit to choosing a colour for your bedroom. For even more best practices for a better life, click here and here.

 

 

It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year

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At least, for some people it is. (Remember those commercials?) Back-to-school season is a mixed bag of emotions- for students, parents and teachers alike. It also doesn’t help that coincides with the arrival of fall, which officially marks the end of summer fun.

I used to love back-to-school time, not only because I was a stationery nerd, but it always somehow felt like a fresh start. It’s been awhile since I’ve been in school now but the feeling has never really left me, this idea that fall can also be a season of change and opportunity.

Don’t get me wrong- I’m already starting to dread the end of summer (and I don’t even go to school, man). But let’s take this time to look at the positive side of going back-to-school and use it as a tool to meet your goals, break bad habits, or even boost yourself self-esteem. Maybe you just want to learn how to survive school. Here are some of the ways I think I can help:

Get Organized:

Pick the perfect planner to manage your tasks.

Use this if you want to manage your whole life.

Work Smarter:

3 rules for a successful study routine.

Never hand in late assignments again.

Take control of your lists.

Manage overwhelming tasks.

Quick and dirty tips to help your productivity all around.

Improve Your Time Management:

Stop being late to class. But if you are running late, read this.

How to play catch up.

When you’re definitely not a morning person.

Squeeze more reading into your routine.

Understand and Conquer Procrastination:

Ways to make procrastination work for you.

The whys behind your procrastination habit.

The procrastination solution (or at least, some of them).

Take Care of Yourself:

We know you’re busy, but you gotta make your health a priority.

Ways to take care of your brain.

Reasons why you need to sleep (as if you needed them, right?)

Burnout is real. Don’t let it happen to you.

Find your motivation to get your groove back.

Get Through Your Day:

For when you’re having a breakdown.

For when you’re barely functional.

For when you’re struggling with your mental health.

We all have blips. Me too. We’ll get through it together.

Do you have any solutions or advice for students going back to school? Maybe you can offer the perspective of a parent or a teacher. Leave a comment below and share with the class, or email me at keepingbusyb@gmail.com. I may include your tips in a future post!

 

 

 

Blips

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I have this theory that everything happens all at once. Maybe you’ve noticed this pattern too in your own life. Sometimes all it takes is for one thing to go wrong and suddenly other things start to come at you, one after the other, picking up speed until your life seems to have snowballed into one screw-up so giant you feel like there’s no way out.

I like to call these life moments “blips” because when you’re in the middle of one it feels like you’ve stepped into a blip in the time-space continuum; like you’re standing still and the world just keeps on moving faster around you at a pace that’s impossible to match, and you feel frozen in place because you just cannot believe that all of this is happening to you all at once.

I experienced a blip recently about six weeks before Christmas so if the above sounds familiar to you, please know you’re not alone, because I’ve been there. I won’t get personal, but a bunch of things happened in my life in such rapid succession it made me feel as if I had run face-first into a brick wall. The sensation of being stuck is difficult to handle; it’s a nightmare for control freaks like me whose self-worth rides on the amount of things that can be accomplished in one day.

As someone who blogs about trying to find balance in all the busy-ness that life throws our way, it may surprise you to read that I still quite haven’t figured it out myself. I’m not here as a teacher, and I don’t want to come across as flawless because I’ve been there before, time and again: I’ve worked too hard, stayed up too late, blew people off, flaked out on deadlines and far too frequently worked myself to the point of exhaustion, sometimes teetering on the verge of burnout.

Even so, balance is something I strive to learn more about because I think it’s a process more than it is a destination, and true balance is about finding the ability to ride the current of life while managing to keep your head above water. There will be waves, yes, but there will also be moments of calm. Sometimes we’ll be able to surf those crests with grace; other times, we lose our footing and that “blip” in time is enough to make us fall under and temporarily lose ourselves.

But somehow, somehow, we humans always seem to have the incredible knack of finding our way back to shore, no matter what life throws at us. We adjust our footing, learn from our mistakes. We try again. We ride that wave.

For me, blogging about balance is a collaborative effort. It involves sharing and learning from our struggles, encouraging each other when motivation or inspiration strikes, and showing patience and understanding when the drive isn’t there, or it all gets too much to handle. Reading and researching ways to find balance, and imparting some of the wisdom I’ve gleaned from my own experiences is a way that I hope to contribute to the ongoing conversation that’s happening now about why we’re running this rat race to begin with. It’s a conversation that I hope to continue to have with you all in the upcoming year, and I hope you lend your voice to it as well. Achieving balance means something different to every person, and sharing our stories gives us the opportunity to learn from each other and create our own definitions of a balanced life.

There will be blips. We all have them. And when you do, we’ll all be there for you, myself included.

Here’s to a happy, healthy and balanced 2017 to you all. May your year be blip-free.

KBwB-BFlower-50In case I didn’t stress it enough above, I am not perfect- I’m still learning every day new ways to treat myself better and achieve a happier, healthier lifestyles. What are some of the solutions that have helped you? I’d love if you dropped me a line or commented below and let me know. We can all benefit from each others knowledge!

I’m still catching up with all of my comments and emails, so please be patient with me as I try to get back to you. I love reading each and every one of your messages and I hope they never stop arriving!

I hope to share even more about my struggles (and successes!) in my quest to find balance in my own life. In the meantime, click here for some of my previous thoughts. Part of achieving that balance, in my belief, is trying to maintain an organized and productive lifestyle. I’ve got lots of thoughts on that too, here and here.

Operation Crisis Management: How to Work When You’re Depressed

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kbb_dead_treeIf you’ve stumbled on this post because you’re feeling depressed and/or suicidal, please know that you’re not alone in feeling this way. It may be hard to wrap your head around this when you feel lonely and isolated, but every day there are millions of people who struggle with similar challenges as you, including myself. However, this story is only reflective of my own experience. If you are in crisis I urge you to stick with me until the bottom of the page, where I’ve included further resources and information on finding support. Overcoming these thoughts and getting through your day may seem impossible, but I’ve made it through 100% of my days so far. You can too. Help is only a click away.

Let’s get one thing straight: depression is not “the blues”. It’s not a contest about the number of sad things going on in your life, and it’s not about an individual’s capability of dealing with life’s ups and downs (although it certainly doesn’t help).

Take me for example- if you knew me in real life you’d know that I sing constantly, I love doing colorful crafts, and when I find something really, really funny I have this loud, braying laugh that the neighbors can hear in the apartment upstairs.

But when I get sad, I get really, really sad. I cry a lot, and often for no good reason. Most days I have to will myself to get out of bed, because even after a full night’s rest I’m sometimes still so tired I swear I can feel it in my bones.

It’s easy to see then why I’m fascinated with productivity and learning more about how other people get through their days. I’m amazed at all of the things that people can achieve when sometimes even taking a shower feels like a battle to me.

It’s not easy for me to talk about this because I’m a perfectionist and I like to get things done. In some ways I think the practice of keeping busy has saved myself from some of my darkest moments. On the other hand, the insane pressure I have put on myself has not always helped with my productivity, or my self-esteem either.

The key is finding a balance.

Slowly I’ve started to learn that part of finding that balance does involve talking about it, about recognizing what brings us down and buoys us back up again. I’m not suggesting a total psychoanalytic breakthrough to help your productivity. But the more you understand yourself and your moods, the better equipped you are at coping.

Because the sucky thing is this: life goes on. You’ve got a job, kids, chores, and other responsibilities that can’t be ignored. But how do you do this when you feel like there’s a giant weight dragging around behind you?

Building a support system that combines non-judgmental mentors, colleagues, friends, family, community members, spiritual leaders and healthcare professionals is very important because it’s so much harder to go it alone, and these people can provide you with an objective perspective when your darker thoughts start getting the better of you. They also may be able to offer you advice on how to spot emotional triggers and develop healthy coping mechanisms. You may choose to have some of these people act as advocates when you are incapable of making rational decisions for yourself. Please don’t shut these people out. They are among the people that love you the most and will hurt the most if they lose you.

Make your coping mechanisms your secret arsenal by keeping running a list, and maybe sharing it with a trusted friend. Some of mine include taking my dog for a walk, having a hot shower and blasting music on my headphones. And baking. Have I ever mentioned baking to you before?

Build coping mechanisms into your routine can be as simple as storing a stress ball in your desk at work, or choosing your outfit the night before to avoid morning freak-outs.

Even paying attention to your emotional triggers and energy levels can help you structure your routine to minimize panic attacks or major mood swings. This could look like opting for a later shift at work if you struggle with getting up in the morning, or putting aside some downtime for yourself after a stressful family event.

If my mood is good and my energy is high I try to make the most of it, and get as much done as I can to help my future self focus on getting through the rough times. Sometimes this involves a little strategic planning on my part- I often don’t schedule anything after events I consider stressful, for example, and I never, ever try to make my day too full.

If you’re equipped with a little more knowledge about what you’re dealing with, and you have support and resources at your fingertips, the better you’ll become at managing your symptoms, and coping through your darker days.

 

KBwB-Flower-50Thanks for sticking with me until the end of this post. I want you to know if you ever need anyone to lend you an ear, I’m here for (anonymously) at keepingbusyb@gmail.com. Please do email me if you have any solutions to share that have worked for you, or comment below for other readers who might be going through something similar. We’re in all this together.

Here’s that list of resources that I promised you. There is help out there if you make the decision you need it. If you have any resources to add to my list, please let me know and I’ll try to include them in an updated post.

If you’re a Canadian (like me), The Canadian Association for Suicide Prevention is a great resource for those experiencing suicidal thoughts and loss related to suicide. It also features a crisis center search function if you live within Canada. Similarly, the Canadian Mental Health Association provides information on suicide prevention and where to get help.

If you’re in the United States, SAVE (Suicide Awareness Voices of Education) provides resources for those who are suicidal, suicide survivor and for the friends and families of the loved ones affected. They also offer a tip sheet for those concerned about a friend or family member in crisis. The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention offers information and research on suicide, and where to get help.

For those who live outside North America, SAVE also provides a list of international resources and the International Association for Suicide Prevention (an NGO associated with the World Health Organization) has information on where to find help anywhere in the world. Suicide Hotlines also offers a comprehensive list of how to find help internationally.

For those of you who are looking for help online, here are some places to start:

  • Metanoia has a great message to read when you’re in a dark place, information on where to get help and advice on choosing what kind of help is right for you.
  • Canadian-based website Mindcheck offers quizzes designed to gauge your moods and offers helpful tips on developing healthy coping mechanisms and practicing self-care.
  • The Bright Side offers positive messages, personal stories and insights as well as resources and information on a variety of mental health issues including depression, anxiety and grief.
  • Although it’s designed with Canadians in mind, The Lifeline app is designed as a guide for those in crisis and connects those in need with a hotline in Canada at the touch of a button.
  • Claiming to be the world’s first-ever public screening measure with risk and response protocols, the Suicide Prevention App acts like a diagnostic tool and connects users with more information and resources.
  • If those weren’t enough resources for you, check out this article I found with 81 different online websites and apps to help people manage symptoms and access resources to help them on their road to recovery.

Operation: Crisis Management

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KBB_elastic_bandsOnce in awhile, you will find yourself in a tangle.

If you are reading this, then maybe you’re in the middle of one right now. Or maybe you’re reading this because you’re hoping to have the information in case you run into trouble one day.

Either way, you are not alone. We are together in this. I am here for you.

I got the idea of “Operation: Crisis Management” from an English teacher I had way back as a senior in high school. She was incredibly sensitive to the overwhelming pressure we faced before graduating and she’d watch as even the best of students (including myself) would crumble under the enormous workload. Every once in awhile, she’d take one of us aside after class, sit us down and declare, “You need crisis management!” Looking back on it, I’m amazed how often she took the time out of her own busy life to go over our assignments with us and decided what we needed to prioritize in order to get the most important things done. It’s something for which I now I am incredibly grateful.

All of us will eventually need to evoke “crisis management”- whether we’re catching up on work after an unexpected illness, coping with a family emergency, or experiencing personal problems. These are all crises, and you can work through them.

The most important thing is that you find your helpers first: a team of friends, family members, colleagues or members of the community who are willing and able to provide the resources that you need in order to manage whatever you are going through. If you do not have access to these resources, find someone you trust and ask them to help you. At the very least, you owe to the people who care about you to let them know that you’re working through something difficult. They want to be allowed the opportunity to help.

Professionally speaking, it’s important that you maintain honest, direct and appropriate communication with your superiors and your colleagues about your capacity to perform at work. Maintaining boundaries is important and healthy, but a few quick words with your boss about your break-up, or the death of a grandparent is better than taking time off without warning, or spending the majority of your shift crying in the bathroom.

Now more than ever, it’s important to be mindful of your own needs. People are over-scheduled and over-worked as it is, and dealing with a crisis lowers your mood, zaps your energy, and in some cases makes you sick. You are allowed to take a break, which means learning to say no to anything that’s not an immediate priority during this time. Delay and delegate tasks whenever possible– it will allow you the breathing room you need to complete whatever needs to be done, and hopefully give you time to recharge. Eating right, drinking water, exercising, fresh air, meditation and getting enough sleeping all help with burnout. (For more tips on how to deal with burnout, read this post. I’ll also convince you to sleep more here.)

Sometimes crises will come up and they will be unexpected, or inevitable. Personal crises such as deaths, physical and mental illnesses, break-ups or other emergencies will, unfortunately, happen to all of us.

Once in a while, we come across people who always seem to be in crisis whether it’s because they’re overwhelmed by their dysfunctional family, burdened with continuous relationship problems, or constantly take on too many projects at work. You may be one of these people yourself.

Bad things happen to everyone. It’s how we cope with them that counts.

As difficult as it may seem, each challenge we face comes with a learning opportunity that ultimately helps us understand and grow as human beings. Sometimes there will be things that happen that are circumstantial, or out of our control. Sometimes they are sad and unfair. But we have a choice as to how we handle them.

If you begin to notice the same patterns occurring, and the crises you seem to face over and over again are similar, it may be time to revisit your own behaviors and choices. Be honest with yourself and ask what you may be contributing to your own crises. Do you avoid making decisions? Are you saying yes to more things than you can handle? Instead of beating yourself up about past actions that you can’t control, figure out how you can use this information in the future. Maybe it means learning how to set better boundaries, or learning when to say no. You have the power and the self-insight to develop your own coping mechanisms in the best way you see fit, as long as it doesn’t inflict any harm on yourself or others.

J.D. Salinger once said, “On particularly rough days when I’m sure I can’t possibly endure, I like to remind myself that my track record for getting through bad days so far is 100%, and that’s pretty good.” I’ve survived 100% of the bad days as well.

You can too.

KBwB-BFlower-50Sending lots of love and good feels out over the interwebs to anyone that’s going through anything. I hope this post helps you in some small way.

Even though I write a blog with the word “busy” in the title, I still feel like we do way too much stuff. Part of keeping busy is finding a balance, so sometimes I blog about that here. I hope you take the time to find balance, too.