Category Archives: Balancing Solutions

30 Seconds

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I was almost hit by a car the other day.

The funny thing was, the scariest part of the event was not the almost-being-hit part. It was what the driver yelled out of the window after me as he sped away.

“Thanks a lot (expletive)! I’m already late for work!”

Luckily no one was harmed in the incident but what the driver yelled at me left me rattled for the rest of the day. See, I had been rushing somewhere as well before it happened and as I was waiting for the light to change I was feeling antsy, wondering if I was going to make it on time. I briefly considered crossing against the light but the traffic was bad and I ultimately decided it was better to arrive alive (and a little late) other than end up in the hospital, or worse, the morgue.

It just wasn’t worth it to me.

I get it, too; people lead busy lives- we’re overworked, overtired, over-stressed. We live in a culture that values the speed at which we can access and provide goods, services and information, sometimes to the detriment of the quality and/or value of said goods, services and information. There’s a ton of pressure to constantly lower the bottom line.

But what does that mean to you?

In this case, an extra thirty seconds waiting at an intersection for the light to change probably wouldn’t have made a big difference in the scheme of things, (After all, if you’re already late, you’re still going to be late. See here.) Or maybe it could have- the driver could have been an employee on probation for arriving late too many times, or maybe he was the one responsible for giving a big presentation, or holding a big meeting. Being late could have cost him money, a client, or even his job.

It only would have cost me my life.

It would have meant serious consequences for the driver, as well. He definitely would have been late for work if he had hit me with his car, and if he had hit me and not stopped, he would have been in greater trouble still. It’s kind of hard to go to work when you’re serving time for a hit and run.

What does it mean, then, about the price you’re willing to pay for the things you have in your life? Are you willing to lie, steal, and cheat? How many shortcuts are you willing to use to find your bottom line? Does your success mean more to you than your ability to be kind? Is it worth more than your integrity?

What is success really worth to you if it means harming other people in order to achieve it?

I don’t like being late, either. (Evidence here.) But saving thirty seconds out of my day isn’t worth someone’s life. And thirty seconds is all it takes to pause, and breathe, and think about how your actions have consequences, and how these actions reflect on the kind of person you want to be.

Time is fleeting, and thirty seconds comes and goes in the blink of an eye. It could mean nothing to you, and everything to someone else.

What are you going to do with that time?

KBwB-BFlower-50Want more solutions on how to find balance in your life? Click here to read more.

The Perfectionism Prescription

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Hi, my name is B and I’m a perfectionist. I guess that’s why I’ve always been into researching the best ways to create a life that’s organized and productive. Maybe it’s my Type A personality, or my love of office supplies, or the encouragement I received from an early age to always “do your best”- I’m not sure how I developed this passion. Needless to say, I’ve tried to focus all of this knowledge and energy into a career that involves helping other people achieve that balance. I like to think that it’s a talent of mine.

Unfortunately, “balance” isn’t always a word in the vocabularies of people like myself. Throwing 100% of yourself into everything that you do is pretty admirable, but it’s also pretty exhausting.

And while we’re on the subject of giving it your best, what does “your best” mean anyways? What does “your best” look like? Does it change as you learn, and grow, and improve yourself? What if you can push yourself to do better?

At what point in time do you reach perfectionism?

There’s a narrow path between “best” and “good enough” known as perfectionism, and it’s a rocky road on which to find yourself. On the one hand, you may want to perform well on a task because it reflects favorably on your abilities and leaves you with a sense of satisfaction. On the other hand, the fear of failing leads to a line of questioning about your capacity to complete the task at all. What if I’m not good enough? What if I’m not good at anything? Or worse- what if someone else can do it better?

This is just one example. Perfectionism manifests itself in different ways. Some people can never complete a task because they feel that it’s never good enough; it’s never truly done. Others can’t even bring themselves to begin a task because they’re so overwhelmed with their own predictions of failure.

Figuring out the value of what “good enough” means to you- and knowing when and where you can learn to lower your standards- is half the battle in combating perfectionism. Of course, for people who have been practicing being perfect their whole lives this is an accomplishment that’s easier said than done. Perfectionism is a habit that is learned over the years and learning not to listen to that inner critic is a challenge. You may want to ask yourself how you allowed that voice in your head to get so loud anyway but maybe the better question is: why are you giving it your attention?

In the end the prescription for perfectionism is really about learning how to outwit your own worst enemy: yourself.

For perfectionists who never seem to get anything done because they get caught up in the details, it may be useful to limit the number of revisions you allow yourself on a project, or delegate tasks to cut down on your initial workload. For perfectionists who never seem to accomplish anything because they just can’t get started, it may be useful to set yourself mini-deadlines, or break down a project into smaller tasks to make your to-do list a little more manageable. (I’ve got some great advice on how to do that here.)

Finally, to all perfectionists everywhere, I dare you to try at least doing one thing less than perfectly. Trust me, the world won’t fall apart. In fact, you may even surprise yourself. You may find that just simply doing your best (whatever that may mean) is just “good enough”.

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Do you struggle with perfectionism like I do? Comment below to share the story of your struggle or drop me a line at keepingbusyb@gmail.com to let me know how you’re dealing with it. Spelling and punctuation don’t count, I swear. (See? I’m giving you permission to be imperfect.)

Someday/Maybe

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I talk a lot about the business of keeping busy on my blog (hey, the word busy is even in the title) but once in awhile you deserve a time out. I’m here today to give you permission to do just that. After all, what is the point in figuring out the most productive way to get things done if you’re not using that free time to cultivate fun and actually live your life.

If you feel that some excitement has been missing from your life lately, you need to create a Someday/Maybe list, like immediately. The idea is not an original one- David Allen introduces this concept in his book Getting Things Done (which I reviewed here)- and uses the Someday/Maybe list as a place to capture future projects and business goals.

I took his idea one step further and created a Someday/Maybe list of all of the things I want to do, and learn, and explore throughout my life. Sure, some of these hopes may seem unrealistic. I might not even get around to them in this lifetime. But it’s still fun to dream.

What’s on your someday/maybe list? Here’s a list of some of the things that you may (or may not) wish to include:

  • books that you’d like to read; movies and TV shows to watch; new music you’d like to listen to;
  • hobbies that you’d like to try; hobbies you’d like to improve; abandoned hobbies that you’d like to take up again;
  • restaurants/food/recipes that you’d like to try;
  • shows, festivals and exhibits that you’d like to attend;
  • degrees, certificates, or certifications you’d like to earn; seminars, courses or workshops you’d like to attend;
  • new languages or skills you’d like to learn or improve
  • vacation destinations- complete with people to visit, things to do and places to stay.

I keep a copy of my Someday/Maybe list in my Command Central binder to refer back to and revise every so often. It serves as a great reminder as to why I do what I do in the first place and those days when things get a little too hectic it feels so refreshing to take a moment to read it, and dream. On paper, your life has no limits. It’s a beautiful and freeing thing.

KBwB-BFlower-50What’s on your Someday/Maybe list? I’m dying to know. Maybe we have something in common! Share your thoughts below or keep them between us by sending them to keepingbusywithb@gmail.com. Your dreams are safe with me!

Wanna take a little peek into what’s on my Someday/Maybe list? Check out my Goodreads profile for my ever-growing list of books that I want to read (which is basically, like, all the books.) I’m also a little bit of a Pinterest junkie. You can see what’s been catching my eye on one of my numerous inspiration boards here.

Beat that Burnout

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KBB_batteriesSome recent medical issues of mine caused me to rethink a lot of the way I work and how I handle stress. In other words, I needed to recharge my batteries.

In a world where we seem to judge each other in terms of the hours we put into a project, I think we’ve created a work culture that promotes working longer hours for fewer, less rewarding outcomes. As a society we’re stressed out, less focused and worst of all, less satisfied. At least, I know I was. This leads to what I like to call burnout.

The problem with living in that kind of work culture is that we self-perpetuate the myth that if we just work longer and harder we’ll be more rewarded. What exactly are we awarding ourselves with if we’re tired and stressed out all the time? When did money and job titles becoming more important than sleeping? Sitting down to a meal with your family? Getting exercise?

Obviously, feeling burned out is sometimes unavoidable- major life events, seasonal extracurricular and work activities, personal crises – these are natural occurrences in the ebb and flow of life. It’s still okay to feel inadequate, or ill-equipped during these experiences. What’s most important is taking care of yourself, and harnessing the help of others around you during this time.

One of the solutions I have discovered that has been one of the most surprisingly beneficial to my own issues has been communication. No one should have to suffer alone. You’d be amazed to discover how many people are willing to offer their help or support during your time of difficulty. At the very least they are better able to understand your absence, lack of focus, or your appearance of disinterest. Professionally speaking, you may want to share this information with a select few at your workplace depending on the nature of your issue.

If you protect yourself by seeking the help you need early enough, you may be able to delegate certain projects to co-workers, or delay certain deadlines. Sympathetic bosses may offer opportunities for cut-backs or short-cuts. Take these when are you are able. Your responsibility at this time should be to yourself.

Personally speaking, learn when to say no to social commitments and be select about the personal projects you take on. Give your time and attention to the things that are of immediate priority- personal hygiene, adequate sleep, eating nutritionally, getting enough exercise and giving yourself the mental space to breathe and recuperate. You may want to check in with your doctor at this time to make sure there are no medical issues that could contribute to your stress, or level of burnout. Vitamin deficiencies, sleeping disorders or thyroid issues could all lead towards feelings of malaise. Keeping hydrated by drinking lots of water can also help, as well as taking a multi-vitamin if your diet requires.

Type A people like myself will argue that they are superhuman and can do anything; most of us can if we put our minds to it. But our first responsibility is to ourselves, and to our own personal well-being. Learning how manage that in a crisis is the first step to empowering ourselves to work smarter instead of harder, and enjoying the benefits of a happy and fulfilling life, no matter what the world throws at us.

KBwB-BFlower-50What’s your best advice on dealing with a crisis? Is there something that’s worked for you in the past? Sharing is caring and I’d love for you to share yours below, or with me at keepingbusyb@gmail.com so that I might share them in a future post. No one should have to suffer through a crisis alone! We’re all here to help.

If you’re looking for more ways to find some balance in your life, I’m trying to figure it all out too here.

Do Unto Yourself What You Would Unto Others

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That seems a little backwards, doesn’t it? People who read the above may conclude one of the following about me:

1) I’ve either gotten my sayings really mixed up or;

2) I wrote this during happy hour.

Neither, I’m glad to say, is true. I think most of old adages offer some good advice, no matter what their origin. Unless you haven’t guessed already, the adage here I’m referring to is, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” It’s a philosophy that I hope we all live by.

But what about the way you treat yourself? Do you really treat yourself the way that would treat others?

We make so many allowances for the way others act and sometimes bend over backwards to make accommodations for a late invoice, or work late to get out that report for a demanding client. Does this sound familiar?

We all want to do well in our businesses and make a good impression on who we work with, but that also means taking a good look at areas where you can treat yourself a little better. Are you putting an extraordinary amount of pressure on yourself to put out a new tweet about your business on the hour every hour? Have you been ignoring your filing or doing your taxes in favor of other work?

The problem with ignoring your own wants and needs, both personally and professionally, is that we often become frustrated at setting ourselves unrealistic goals or deadlines. This can become reflected in the quality of work that you do, or how well you treat a client. That’s ironic, considering you were going out of your way to treat them how you would want to be treated. Instead, you’re treating yourself and them in a way you would never want to be treated in the first place.

Hiring a consultant to help you manage your time and reflect on the processes that aren’t working for you may point you in the right direction. There’s no need to feel embarrassed- running a small business is hard! A good consultant will remain non-judgmental about what hasn’t been working for you, and might be able to offer suggestions as to what can help. This doesn’t have to be a painful process to put more pressure on yourself. It could be as relaxing as spending an afternoon airing your grievances out over coffee. It’s definitely a way to start becoming kinder to yourself.

Still worried about what a consultant might say about learning how to treat yourself better? Keep in mind they may have heard an old adage or two about that themselves.

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What are some of the ways that you’ve treated yourself kindly lately? Comment below and tell me how it makes you feel. No, really. We could all use some pointers sometimes. Don’t forget to check out the business section of the blog for more common-sense-advice-that-you-knew-already-you-just-needed-someone-else-to-tell-you-it-type articles. But of course, you knew that already. You’re so smart.