Category Archives: Balance

Brave Things

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Today I did something hella scary.

If you’ve been following my Instagram, you already know that lately I’ve been trying to embrace things that have previously intimidated me. Some of those things have included sharing a picture of myself in a bikini (which I’ve avoided for years) and singing in public (even though it is just karaoke).

Which brings me to today’s challenge:

Seven years ago a dear friend of mine who is also a brilliant photographer convinced me to pose for a series of photos in which I’m wearing…well, not much. I made him promise that the photos would never see the light of day and he kept his word. At least until today. On my mission to be more daring I decided to post one of the photos online and it is probably the most frightening task I have tackled so far.

I grew up in a household where body positivity was encouraged. Even though we were taught that all bodies were beautiful, as I got older I began to think that mine was the exception to the rule. The kids started bullying me about it at school. I was told that I was so ugly that I should die and the teasing became so relentless eventually I began to believe them. I felt ashamed and covered up my body and hid as much as I could. I hid for years.

Now that I’m older and learning more about myself, I’ve come to the realization that I had let other people dictate my own narrative. I had let other people’s views influence how I felt about myself. Worse, I had given these people way more credit than they deserved by accepting their comments and insults as the absolute truth. Why on earth would I value the opinion of someone else more than I valued my own? Why would I give another person such power over me?

So today I’m taking my power back. It was a nerve-racking decision but it’s one that I’m proud of. I don’t want to spend the rest my life in hiding. I don’t want to perpetuate stereotypes about what makes a body beautiful. If anything, I want to show other people with low self-esteem issues that it is possible to love yourself. You’re allowed to be proud of your body and you should be- it’s a miracle unto itself. (I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again until you believe me.) If I can learn to find myself beautiful, you can too.

But it also helps to have a really good photographer.

Sometimes I blog about productivity and such, but sometimes I also pretend to be a model for my photographer friends. Sometimes they even let me model their clothes, like my dear friends at Paper Bagged Vintage. Having fun with photography and fashion has worked wonders for my self-esteem. What makes you feel good about yourself? Comment below or let’s talk in private: you can DM me on Insta, or shoot me a line at keepingbusyb@gmail.com.

 

Your Self-Care Strategy

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According to Wikipedia.com, self-care is defined as “any necessary regulatory function which is under individual control, deliberate and self-initiated”. Pyshcentral.com has a slightly simpler definition: the site defines self-care as “any activity that we do deliberately in order to take care of our mental, emotional and physical health.”

Typically speaking, when we think of self-care activities we think of long bubble baths, face masks and other methods of pampering. While these are great ways of practising self-care, your self-care strategy should incorporate any activity that makes you feel restored, refreshed or grounded.

And if you don’t have a self-care strategy, it may be time to incorporate one into your lifestyle. Self-care activities shouldn’t be reserved only for the times when we feel sad, lonely, anxious or depressed. Self-care is something that should ideally be a part of your daily routine in order to nurture your mental health on an ongoing basis. Think about it: you don’t take your car into the shop just when there’s a problem- you take it for maintenance on a regular basis in order to prevent problems down the road. (Pardon the car pun.) Your self-care strategy should act in a similar way- it should be designed to help maintain your equilibrium in order to prevent stress overload or burnout.

Not everyone’s self-care strategy will look the same and will differ with background, experience and lifestyle. It may incorporate several different activities depending on what feels most relaxing and enjoyable to you and may change depending on the moment and your mood. Besides pampering oneself (a part of my own particular self-care strategy) here are some other ways to practice self-care:

  • Take a short break when you feel tired, frustrated or overwhelmed
  • Plan something fun to look forward to, like a dream vacation or even a weekend away
  • Sneak in a short nap (we often lose our ability to focus or make rational decisions when overtired)
  • Eat a healthy snack (because sometimes you could just be hangry)
  • Call a friend and vent your frustration, or even better- share happy or funny memories with each other in order to boost your mood
  • Look through some of your favourite old photos or scrapbooks
  • Choose a goal to focus on when you feel overwhelmed and write down three steps to make that dream become a reality
  • Listen to music (and really listen to it, don’t just have it on in the background)
  • Take a moment to stretch, do jumping jacks or take a walk to reinvigorate yourself
  • Meditate or practice breathing when you need to relax
  • Work on a creative hobby, or start up an old one you used to enjoy when you were younger
  • Plan some time off to do absolutely nothing

By incorporating several different types of activities into your self-care strategy, you give yourself a variety of ways to relax and rejuvenate depending on the situation and your emotional state of mind. Practising this on a regular basis allows us to maintain not only your mental health, but your physical health as well. If you haven’t formed a self-care strategy yet, it’s never too late- pick one of the activities above and start today!

In this day and age we place so many demands on ourselves that sometimes even going about our day-to-day lives is exhausting. As a person who likes to keep busy, I find myself struggling to stay balanced. You can follow my journey here, or click here or here to find more ways to streamline your life to keep it simple.

What are some of the ways that you stay balanced? Give us your advice below, or email your strategies to keepingbusyb@gmail.com

Yes, You Are Stressed

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When asked to picture someone who is suffering from stress, the image we create in our minds is of someone who is physically and emotionally agitated. We may picture them as being irritable, quick to anger and being prone to emotional outbursts.

Even though these are all what we consider to be clear signs of stress, there are other ways in which stress can manifest itself physically even if our brains don’t recognize that we could be reaching our breaking points.

Here are some of the ways in which we can experience stress physically:

  • severe weight loss/gain
  • lack of concentration/short-term memory problems
  • headaches or severe muscle tension, especially in the neck, shoulder and back areas
  • gastrointestinal issues, including heartburn, bloating, cramping and diarrhea
  • hair-thinning/hair loss
  • mood swings, depression and/or anxiety
  • weakened immune system, leading to frequent colds or prolonged illnesses
  • skin problems such as acne or hives

If you’ve been suffering from two or more of any of the symptoms above within the past week or so, it could be that you’re secretly suffering from stress without even knowing it. Denying that we’re stressed out, or suppressing feelings of pressure are actually coping mechanisms within themselves- it allows us to separate from ourselves mentally and physically long enough to continue to work under pressure.

The problem with this solution is that stress always has a way of catching up to us. (Believe me, I went through the same thing which you can read all about here.) When our bodies start to show signs of stress like the ones described above, it’s a signal that you need to take a break. Our coping mechanisms are just for that- coping- but in the long-term we need to nurture ourselves mentally and physically in order to thrive. This means acknowledging and addressing our stress when it starts to physically appear in our bodies. If we don’t, the consequence we face is burnout and we become incapable of handling any kind of stress at all. (I’ve got some more tips on how to avoid that here.)

Combating stress means taking care of yourself and recognizing when you’ve pushed yourself too far, taken on too much or put yourself under too much pressure. There’s no way to completely eliminate stress from your life but fortunately, if you develop the tools to cope with it in healthy ways you can avoid the physical problems that stress can bring.

In this day and age we place so many demands on ourselves that sometimes even going about our day-to-day lives is exhausting. As a person who likes to keep busy, I find myself struggling to stay balanced. You can follow my journey here, or click here or here to find more ways to streamline your life to keep it simple.

What are some of the ways that your body shows you are stressed? What are some of the coping mechanisms you’ve put in place to deal with stress? Share with the class below or send me an email at keepingbusyb@gmail.com

The Problem Beneath the Mask

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My high school yearbook is full of good luck messages and fun jokes from friends. It’s funny to look back on them now, especially when I read some of the comments that people left. “Love your smile,” says one. “Thanks for your positive attitude,” says another. I get a kick out of these messages because they paint a picture of a cheerful, motivated teenager. In reality, my high school experience was a lot different: I was severely depressed and most of my classmates didn’t know it.

Of course, some time has passed since then and our society’s conversation about mental health is a lot more open than it was when I was in school. This is probably due to the fact that more and more of us experience these types of issues, sometimes even at an earlier age. The Canadian Mental Health Association reports that almost 58% of Canadians are stressed out. If this is the case, then why do so many people (including myself) feel the need to hide their anxiety and depression?

“Smiling depression”, as it’s commonly referred to, often shows up in people who are seen as ambitious or goal-oriented. Their high standards for themselves and others may lead to dissatisfaction or disappointment when these standards are not reached. These people, myself included, could be labelled as perfectionists. (More about that here.) The ironic thing is that the less perfect a perfectionist’s life becomes, the stronger the need is to “fake it until you make it”, that is, pretend that your life is okay when it isn’t.

If this sounds like you, then you’re not alone. There is an increased pressure in our society to constantly be living our best lives leading us to the conclusion that if we’re not thriving, it means we’re doing something wrong. Truthfully, life isn’t all peaches and cream and trying to live your best life is a struggle that occurs on a daily basis. If we accept this reality, we may find ourselves less inclined to hide behind a mask of happiness and become more honest with each other about our feelings and moods.

You don’t have to hide behind a smile. You are a perfectly imperfect person and those that love you will appreciate you for what you are, no matter what your state of mind.

In this day and age we place so many demands on ourselves that sometimes even going about our day-to-day lives is exhausting. As a person who likes to keep busy, I find myself struggling to stay balanced. You can follow my journey here, or click here or here to find more ways to streamline your life to keep it simple.

What are some of the ways that you stay balanced? Give us your advice below, or email your strategies to keepingbusyb@gmail.com.

The Pleasure of a Porch

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As soon as the weather hits double digits (Celsius), you’ll find me on my porch with my dog drinking coffee and soaking up that early spring sun. After being cooped up indoors all winter, it’s an experience that I look forward to every year. I always find the first hint of spring to be restorative. It’s a time where I can get excited about all of the events and projects that come with a new season.

Spring is relatively short in this part of the world but even so, it doesn’t take long for my porch to become a hubbub of activity. Already some of my plants are showing new growth and some of my neighbours are following my example and joining me for coffee when the weather is right (six feet apart, of course). It gets even busier during the summertime. My dog and I will spend many an afternoon gardening, sunbathing, writing, reading or merely relaxing. A whole day can go by without me leaving the porch; it usually starts with my morning coffee and ends with a glass of wine with friends.

This will be my eighth spring in this apartment and so far I’ve never been bored. (In fact, I love my porch so much I’ve written about my dreams and plans for it several years in a row: here, here and here.) I’m already anticipating the fun I will have this summer working on and enjoying my little green space in the city.

If you have a porch, balcony or other outdoor space I encourage you to take advantage of it as much as you can this spring and summer. It can be an opportunity to change your routine or environment (even if it means stepping outside for just a couple of minutes). For those of you who don’t have an outdoor space, even just taking a few plants and making your own green sanctuary indoors can do wonders for your well-being and mental health.

Whatever you decide to do this spring and summer, wherever you end up spending it, I hope you make the most of the season!

What are your plans for your outdoor space this year? Comment below or drop me a line at keepingbusyb@gmail.com and tell me all of your hopes and dreams for your outdoor space. Looking for inspiration? I’ve got tons of ideas over on Pinterest.

Take a Look at Yourself and Make a Change

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A little while ago I was at a point in my life when I was ready to make a change. (I wrote a little about it here, if you’re interested.) I no longer found the situation I was in to be tolerable and craved a different environment. I quit my full-time job and went back to freelancing. There were other jobs I tried, too, but nothing seemed to ever work out.

It was really frustrating. I had tried to make all of these changes in my life and I was stressed out and feeling sad. I couldn’t understand why. Had I not given up everything negative in my life in order to feel more fulfilled? It was like no matter where I went or what I tried there was always a dark cloud following me.

When I described this feeling to a friend, it suddenly clicked that all of these situations had one common denominator: me. It wasn’t that darkness was following me everywhere; instead, I was the cloud and I was bringing my old thoughts and habits into new situations with me. Yes, maybe a change of scene had been necessary. But I had failed to take a look at myself and recognize the things I needed to work on personally in order to truly effect that change. I was relying on external factors to make me happy when I should have been relying on myself to create my own happiness.

Some people argue that people never change: I believe that people can change if they want to. We often hold onto old beliefs and thought patterns but in order to truly effect change, we need to let go of the behaviours that no longer serve us and try to improve in the areas in which we are lacking. It may be daunting to take such a long, hard look at yourself but it’s well worth it if you’re looking to try something new and make a change.

What have you done in your life recently to make a change? How did you know that you were ready for one? Comment below or share your story by emailing me at keepingbusyb@gmail.com

Looking for more ways to add balance to your life? I like to write about my journey here.

8 Ways to Avoid Stress

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It may seem like a pipe dream, but I truly believe there are measures we can take to reduce the amount of stress in our lives. While we can’t always control what stresses us out, I’ve come to learn that exercising measures in what I like to call “stress prevention” can help me control my reaction to stressful events and stop fretting about the things that I cannot control. While I haven’t totally perfected my technique, here are some of the strategies I put into place to help me avoid stress:
  1. Don’t overcrowd your schedule. I know that if I schedule too much for myself in one day, I feel emotionally and physically exhausted. Just having blank space on your calendar can give you peace of mind. It also gives you contingency time should an emergency come up, or if a task takes longer than planned.
  2. Be realistic. I used to know someone who would schedule meetings but forget to schedule travel time in between and as a result ended up constantly running behind. Leaving blank space on your calendar isn’t just for visual stimulation. Think of it instead as your back-up plan.
  3. Learn how to say no. Once you become more realistic about your scheduling capabilities (see number 2) you have to exercise your right to refuse work that interferes with your schedule, is outside of your job description, or beyond your capabilities.
  4. Learn when compromise is appropriate. One of the keys to dealing with stress is having the right attitude when approached with projects that are less than desirable. Be willing to do what needs to be done but make sure you take steps to ensure that your needs are met as well.
  5. Be okay with enough. As much as you may like to give 110% to everything you take on there will be times where it is not worth the effort, the time or the money. If perfectionism is causing you to fall behind, miss deadlines or prevents projects from moving forward, it may be time to learn when to walk away.
  6. Be loyal to yourself. In order to keep on top of my projects and administrative tasks I schedule a weekly review. Keeping that appointment with myself is such a high priority for me that I plan my schedule around it. Recognize the best practices for your lifestyle and stick to them.
  7. Know that you can handle it. Most of the anxieties that we have are rooted in the lack of faith we have in ourselves to manage the things that are thrown our way. It may so corny, but if you believe in your ability to handle any situation with grace and confidence it will greatly reduce any anticipation or dread you feel about a problem or upcoming event.
  8. Accept the things you cannot control. This may be the hardest rule to swallow, but at some point in time you really will have to face the facts: there will be times where you cannot prepare and the only thing you can do is take care of yourself and manage as best you can. (A sense of humour helps too!)

In this day and age we place so many demands ourselves that sometimes even going about our day-to-day lives is exhausting. As a person who likes to keep busy, I find myself struggling to stay balanced. You can follow my journey here, or click here or here to find more ways to streamline your life to keep it simple.

What are some of the ways that you stay balanced? Give us your advice below, or email your strategies to keepingbusywithb@gmail.com.

Feel the Fear and Do It Anyways!

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Ever been on a rope course? I have, once, when I was thirteen and it was one of the scariest things I had to do in my life. I’m pretty clumsy when it comes to most physical activities and I’m not so good with heights, either. So asking me to (repel) down a length of rope while strapped to a harness is kind of like asking me to stand on my head and hold my breath for as long as I can- not impossible, but most likely not going to happen.

But there I was anyway, somehow having been coerced up there and now I was faced with having to glide from one tree to another and I was freaking terrified. The pressure was on. Everyone was yelling at me, encouraging me. I almost started crying.

One of the teachers was already over on the other side. “You gotta keep on going or you’re going have to find another way to get down,” he called.

In that moment, something inside me shifted. I looked down and it was far. Like really far. And there was no way I was going to attempt the descent myself. I looked over at the teacher who had called out to me, at the length of rope suspended in the air before me. There was no way out except to do it, no matter how scared I felt about it.

And that’s kind of like a lot of things that we’re scared of in life: they’re inevitable and most of the time the only way through is forward, even if it means confronting the unknown, or taking a risk. We can kick or scream or cry in front of our classmates but our reaction changes nothing; the problem will always be there until we work through it.

I was faced with a choice: move forward or remained trapped on a tiny wooden platform forty feet in the air. Neither option appealed to me but being trapped up there seemed far more awful than zip-lining between two trees. One option would move me forward, the other would leave me stuck.

You can choose to let your fear take over until it brings you to a standstill, or you can acknowledge the fear for what it is- just an emotion- and continue on with your life. You may be surprised to find that things weren’t as bad as you anticipated.

As for me? I zip-lined down that rope and screamed the entire way. When I got to the other end, I was shaking but happy. I had just done something scary and survived. Nothing had changed except that I was one step closer to my destination and I was getting braver, so brave that I didn’t look down or back and instead found myself only facing forward.

In this day and age we place so many demands ourselves that sometimes even going about our day-to-day lives is exhausting. As a person who likes to keep busy, I find myself struggling to stay balanced. You can follow my journey here, or click here or here to find more ways to streamline your life to keep it simple.

What are some of the ways that you stay balanced? Give us your advice below, or email your strategies to keepingbusywithb@gmail.com.

That Time My Body Tried to Self-Destruct

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I’ve put off writing this for over a year now. When I first started I felt it was necessary but then it became too difficult and I stopped because I figured no one would be interested . After some time passed I started to wonder if I had done the right thing. I wondered if anyone else had gone through what I had been through. I share this with you today in the hope that there’s someone out there who needs to read it as much is I need to write about it. Consider it a cautionary tale.

Last spring, my body decided to self-destruct. To a casual observer it may have seemed as if it were a long time coming but to me it was a total shock. I didn’t know what was happening to me.

How do I describe myself at that time other than to say I was a mess? I had stopped eating and sleeping and as a result of my stomach was upset all the time and I was exhausted to the point that I was falling asleep in random places. My skin broke out and I started losing my hair. I lost weight and had to go to the doctor, who told me to stop overworking myself.

But I didn’t listen. As my stress levels rose, my health plummeted: I started having frequent panic attacks and crying spells that would last hours. I felt like I couldn’t handle anything and it made me hate myself. I was angry all the time: I’d throw tantrums, I’d throw things and then I would throw myself down on the bed afterwards and wonder about the person that I was becoming.

The final straw occurred when I got sick, really sick, the kind of sick that makes you cancel everything and stay in bed for a week. It made me realize that I was miserable. I hated my life. I knew that if I kept I’m going the way I was I would make myself sicker and at the time the only way out that I could see was to do something drastic.

So I quit my job.

Disclaimer: don’t quit your job. It’s a really risky thing to do, especially when you’re in a bad place. However, it seemed like the only solution to me. I missed freelancing: working from home, getting creative. I wanted to be passionate about something again.

First, I took some time off because it had been seven years since I had had a vacation. I had to teach myself to enjoy once again the little things that used to give me pleasure: reading, journaling, creative writing. It sounds like a lot of fun but reality it wasn’t easy trying to shed the workaholic personality I had developed.

It’s something I’m still working on. I did eventually go back to freelancing (that’s a whole other post) but even then I have learned the importance of following my body’s cues. In doing so, I have to come to discover that if you’re not taking care of yourself on an emotional and physical level you will lose the strength needed to deal with things on a daily basis.

Now that I’m kinder to myself my stress levels have become more manageable. I have more energy and experience better health overall. Sure, I still have my moments/days/weeks but they are getting fewer and farther between.

If any of the above sounds familiar to you than my advice is this: listen to your body because it will tell you when you’ve had enough. It will tell you when it is depleted. It will tell you when the lifestyle you’re leading is wrong.

Deep down inside, you know which things are best for you. Recognize those things, honor those things and try not to let them go.

In this day and age we place so many demands ourselves that sometimes even going about our day-to-day lives is exhausting. As a person who likes to keep busy, I find myself struggling to stay balanced. You can follow my journey here, or click here or here to find more ways to streamline your life to keep it simple.

What are some of the ways that you stay balanced? Give us your advice below, or email your strategies to keepingbusywithb@gmail.com.

The Secret to Everyday Happiness

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I recently celebrated a birthday and I’m not lying when I said I had a great day. I gave myself a day off of work and spent time with family and friends just relaxing and enjoying myself. It felt great.

If you’re a workaholic or perfectionist like me, you know how much work can suddenly start to take over your life. Taking even just one day off can give you a different perspective. I realized that most of my days are planned around work. My birthday gave me a rare opportunity to plan for pleasure instead.

I started to wonder about why I wasn’t making more room in my life for the things I love. Why would I save only one day out of the whole year for rest and relaxation? What if I could find some way for my day to be pleasurable every day, even in just some small way? Could I actually plan my own happiness?

If happiness is something that you work on, it’s a state of mind that needs to be worked on every day. Giving yourself something to look forward to, allowing yourself time to relax or even indulging in something small are all good ways of injecting some fun into the day, whether it’s during the week or on the weekend.

Realistically, there might not be an opportunity to do this on a daily basis (like I said, life gets in the way) but there is always the time to practice gratitude. It may sound corny, but reminding yourself of reasons to be happy can actually improve your mood. Gratitude doesn’t always have to mean listing the things you’re grateful for either- for me, practicing gratitude also encompasses finding appreciation or pleasure in the everyday world around me. It could be as simple as being grateful for the breeze on a hot summer day, or how beautiful the view is from your window. There are little sparks of joy everywhere in your life if you know where to look for them. If you don’t, it may be time to create some. (Check out The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up by Marie Kondo or The Book of Awesome by Neil Patrisha for some ideas.)

We only have birthdays once a year, but there’s no reason why we shouldn’t have reasons to celebrate everyday. We’re alive, for one thing, which is remarkable unto itself. If we constantly look for opportunities to be grateful for this, we can all be on our way to something that looks like everyday happiness.

In this day and age we place so many demands ourselves that sometimes even going about our day-to-day lives is exhausting. As a person who likes to keep busy, I find myself struggling to stay balanced. You can follow my journey here, or click here or here to find more ways to streamline your life to keep it simple.

What are some of the ways that you stay balanced? Give us your advice below, or email your strategies to keepingbusywithb@gmail.com.