Author Archives: B

5 Things I Learned from Being a Bridesmaid

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I’m no Jane in 27 Dresses, but once I did have the pleasure of participating in the wedding of a good friend of mine several years ago. She was one of my first friends to get married and her wedding felt like it was a milestone in my own life, marking that transition from crazy college student to actual adult.

I have to admit at this point that I’m really not a wedding person (although I like wedding movies), but I was wildly excited to help my friend out with hers. I thought I’d be running around helping to schedule dress fittings, sample wedding cakes, and pick out favors. Kind of like in 27 Dresses. (Did I mention I used to be really obsessed with that movie?)

Being a bridesmaid, however, ended up being more like starting a job without reading the employee manual first. That’s not to say that I didn’t enjoy it, or that I didn’t have fun at her wedding, but afterwards I wrote a little piece about my experience as a bridesmaid to not only pass on some of my own knowledge to other first-time bridesmaids, but to process my own feelings on the subject.

Years (and many weddings later) I still stand by what I wrote; now that wedding season is fast approaching, I thought I’d share them again here with all of those bridesmaids-to-be that are out there- even those not obsessed with 27 Dresses.

Don’t expect to look attractive. I already knew the dress was horrible on me (as per the tradition of the bridesmaid dress) but I was still shocked when the first photos were posted online. That make-up, that hair, that general pasty awfulness? That I was not expecting.  Try and not let your ego be bruised too much. Your friend’s wedding day is more about her looking good than it is about you looking good. Years down the road, people will look at her wedding photos and forgive you for the hairstyle that makes you look like you have a giant cupcake on the top of your head. (At least, that’s what I’m hoping.)

Bridal showers are super boring. No one loves little sandwiches with the crusts cut off as much as I do, but other than that the bridal shower will more or less consist of you watching your friend open presents for two hours straight. I was happy for her, but it was kind of like spending two hours at your favorite housewares store and not buying anything. (Or maybe you torturing yourself like that!)

The bachelorette party may not be the party of a lifetime. They never show this in any of the movies (well, maybe with the exception of Bridesmaids) but you’d be surprised at how a seemingly innocent night of drinking can rapidly deterioriate into a night of screaming, crying and drama.

You’re not going to know anyone. Literally. After the ceremony you’ll be hanging out at the head table and all sorts of family and friends will be wandering up and congratulating the happy couple. They’ll smile vaguely at you because you were introduced when you entered the hall, but other than that you’ll probably be left to your own devices- and to the bottle of merlot the bride and groom are going to leave untouched because they’re too busy greeting everyone.

It’s going to make you really sad. Don’t get me wrong- I was so ridiculously happy for my friend that I found myself holding back tears several times during the wedding planning, throughout the ceremony and at the reception. No one really tells you what an emotional experience being a bridesmaid can be. It’s lovely and romantic and also bittersweet. Whether you’re decidedly single, or you’ve been married for several years, I don’t think that feeling will ever go away- that realization that you’re watching a person blossom into themselves; the sensation that they’re beginning the rest of their lives. We grow and change and get older, and having the privilege of watching a few select people grow and change along with you is both painful and wonderful all at the same time.

I know the above seems like I’m being all Negative Nancy, but fear not future bridesmaids: when all is said and done, being a bridesmaid can be a wonderful experience that can (hopefully) bring you a little bit closer to the bride-to-be and can help solidify a friendship between two people transitioning into a new phase in their lives. If you get the opportunity to try it sometime, do it!

Just never mind the ugly dress.

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Do you have a horrible bridesmaid story you’d like to share? Or even better, do you have a photo of yourself in your ugly dress that you’d like to share? (We won’t laugh, we promise!) Email me at keepingbusyb@gmail.com or comment below with your story and we’ll commiserate.

Spring 2017 Reading List

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It feels like I’ve been cooped up inside too long; after a whole winter of being tucked away with all of my novels it’s beginning to get warm enough to go outdoors and take pleasure in some of the things that “real world” has to offer.

Don’t get me wrong-I’m not okay with a lot of the things the real world has going on these days. That’s why I think it’s important to read books about all the other beautiful, wonderful, wondrous things that still exist (though they may become harder to find).

That’s why I’m devoting this spring’s reading list to all of the delightful, intriguing non-fiction that I can find.

  1. Love! Loss! Betrayal! Ok so maybe Peter Wohlleben’s The Hidden Life of Trees won’t play out like a botanical soap opera, but the idea that trees live in families and can even communicate with each other still has me full of suspense.
  2. I walk a lot and am fortunate to live in a neighborhood by the water that’s perfect for a stroll, no mater what the season. There’s always something different to look at so I’m excited to read On Looking: A Walker’s Guide to Observation by Alexandra Horowitz for more thoughts on observing the world around us from someone who loves it as much as I do.
  3. I’m more of an armchair traveler than a world adventurer but Chuck Thompson’s Smile While You’re Lying, a book promising to expose the dark side of travel industry, just might make me that much more okay with exploring other countries from the safety of a magazine.
  4. I love stories about people taking on hare-brained journeys in a last-ditch attempt at changing their lives (see here and here). I’m hoping that Wild by Cheryl Strayed is exactly that- a wild adventure.
  5. Going on a journey with Bill Bryson isn’t always a wild adventure but it is usually a hilarious one. Notes on a Small Island is one of my Dad’s favorite books so I think it’s about high time I got around to reading it.

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Psst- wanna see which books have previously graced my bookshelves? Click here. Want even more fun reading recommendations? I’ve got some for you here. Don’t forget to find me on Goodreads so we can snoop each other’s bookshelves and dish about our favourites.

Décor Books to Die For

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I wasn’t always that interested in decorating- sure, I liked nice things, but I guess I felt that decorating was reserved for those who had lots of spare time and money.

Then for whatever reason, I ended up with a copy of Shabby Chic by Rachel Ashwell. Everything felt so dreamy and ethereal and almost accessible (minus the incredible house) for someone like me with limited resources. I was totally hooked- frayed linens, frills and all.

Although my tastes have become a little varied over the years, I still try and hunt down her stuff every time I go into a used bookstore. Copies of her older books have become harder to find, so I was pleased when she came out with The World of Shabby Chic; I was starting to get hungry for more. What can I say? Old habits die hard.

It wasn’t until I started reading D.I.Y. blogs that I became more interested in what my own home looked like. I loved Jon and Sherry Petersik’s blog Young House Love and their subsequent book of the same name. I was so in love that I dragged my sister to the book signing when they came to Toronto and you better believe we fan-girled so hard. (I’ve already used up my fifteen minutes of fame posing for a photo with Sherry that ended up on their on blog.)

It was from their blog and other similar blogs of the time that I discovered (too late) the wonderful magazine that is Domino. Thankfully, it had since relaunched but until then I had Domino: The Book of Decorating to tide me over. Not only does it showcase some fabulous designs across a variety of styles, it’s also a great primer for those starting out on their decorating adventure. (There’s also a companion book here.)

Books are such a big part of my life that it’s hard to imagine not living with them. I think it was the type of audience author Alan Powers had in mind when writing, researching and photographing Living with Books. If you’re a bookworm too then you’ll find its gorgeous images of unconventional collections and libraries from around the world almost painful to look at. It’s probably one of my favorite books I own, period.

There are so many more decor books that I’d love to collect and peruse but limited funds and space limit my collection to only a few. While I’d love to draw inspiration from even more of the creative resources and guides out there, it’s kind of nice to restrict your purchases to the things you love so much you’ll revisit them again and again. Hopefully they can serve as a starting point for your own ideas on how to cultivate a home that is unique to you and your style.

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I love to read and I love sharing my favorite books with you. (For more reading inspiration click here or here.) Don’t forget to friend me on Goodreads either! Btw: These lists are totally my own creation and I was not paid or perked to share my opinions with you by any author or publishing company.

If you’ve been bitten by the decorating bug, I may have something for that bite: click here for a quick tutorial on choosing the right paint color, here for the most productive ways to organize an office, and here for other projects and tips on keeping your home happy and organized.

It Ain’t Easy Cleaning Green

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“How do you find the time?”

“Doesn’t it cost more?”

“Why would you be bothered?”

These are some of the questions I get asked about my (mostly) eco-friendly cleaning routine. Some people seem surprised that this is important to me which puzzles me, because I can’t understand why taking care of our environment isn’t important to all of us.

Don’t worry- I’m not here as an ecological warrior, but as a blogger obsessed with trying to make her life more efficient and productive. I can tell you with confidence that making my cleaning routine greener has not been a waste of time or effort-if anything, it’s streamlined things even more.

Of course, sticking to a regular cleaning routine helps me avoid crazy deep cleaning sessions that in the long run saves me time and cuts down on the amount of cleaning products I use. That translates into more me-time, and more moolah in my pocket. Researching the best ways to clean has also spared me the extra time and effort I would have normally put into tackling the same spot over and over again.

Cutting down on the number of products that I use around my home has also saved me time, effort and money. You honestly don’t need twelve different cleansers for each individual room. Believe me, your cupboards will thank you too.

Making the switch to more eco-friendly cleaning materials has been pretty painless as well. In fact, I even make some myself. Some people may think making your own cleaning products is a drag, but you’d be surprised as how a few simple ingredients can go a long way. The few extra minutes it takes to mix up some new supplies is a trade-off for the money it saves you, plus it rids your home of nasty-smelling, potentially hazardous chemicals.

I still use paper towels to help out with the really heavy duty messes (keep in mind, I have a dog!) but I love using my reusable cloths and rags for all of my other cleaning needs. My mop heads are reusable as well, so everything gets dumped in the machine for a heavy-duty wash, separate from all of my clothes and nicer household items. They come out fresh and clean without me having to lift a finger (other than pushing some buttons).

But honestly? One of the greenest practices I’ve embraced is learning to live with the dirt a little bit. I always have people and dogs coming in and out of my place so over time I’ve come to accept the fact that it’s fruitless to expect the house to be perfect all of the time. I would end up spending all of my free time cleaning my home instead of enjoying it, and my time with guests would be ruined by my constant cleaning.

I’m not saying you shouldn’t clean your house, but lowering your expectations from hospital-clean to mostly clean saves you time, money, electricity and effort. Dare I say it? It also might make you a little bit happier.

KBwB-BFlower-50What are some of the ways you’ve adopted an eco-friendly approach to your cleaning routine? Let’s care for our houses and environments by sharing our tips with each other in the comment box below. Or email me at keepingbusyb@gmail.com and I may include your thoughts in a future post!

The approach of spring has got me in the mood to chat about all things housecleaning all week long. If you’re feeling the same way, may I suggest this post, this post, this post, and this post for more ideas on how to refresh your home in time for the new season. If you’re feeling ambitious, click here or here on ways to get your household more organized.

 

Spring Cleaning for Superstars

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If you’re reading this, I bet you like spring cleaning. I suspect that you’re interested in productivity and organizing just as much as I am, and if I’m right you’re here not because you don’t know how to clean, organize or be productive. You’re here because you want to do better.

Well, eager beavers: this one’s for you. There’s all sorts of weird and wonderful household tasks that often get neglected until they become a problem. A spring cleaning (or any seasonal cleaning routine for that matter) offers the opportunity to catch up on all those nasty little loose ends that we somehow miss.

You get a gold star if you’ve done any of the following:

  • Use a barely-damp microfiber cloth to wipe down light bulbs in ceiling or wall fixtures, and on your table and floor lamps. Keep your bulbs dust-free can actually improve the quality of light in your home.
  • Everyone’s favorite blue-and-yellow furniture store recommends tightening any screws and making adjustments to furniture once a year to prolong the life of your pieces and ensure your safety.
  • Toilet tanks need loving too: just strap on some gloves, grab a cloth or a sponge and give the inside a quick wipe to check for rust, mildew or calcium deposits. (All no-nos.)
  • Check electrical cords for dirt, grit, dust and any potential frays and tears. Just make sure everything’s unplugged before wiping extra-dirty cords down with a barely damp cloth (rubbing alcohol swabs or wipes are also good for particularly grimy areas).
  • Coffee grinders need a little bit of extra attention to keep things in tip-top shape. Pamper yours by cleaning the coffee grit out of the grinding mechanism, and off of any blades. (Again, please check that you’ve unplugged everything first.)
  • I always feel extra good about a spring clean if I’ve vacuumed and scrubbed the closet floor.
  • Keep shower heads and faucets flowing freely by filling a plastic baggie with white vinegar and using a rubber band to secure the bag around the faucet. Leave to soak and simply remove the baggie when done. Let the hot water run to clear away any residue.
  • Use spring cleaning time as an excuse to go over any home or appliance warranties, insurance policies or manuals to check for recommended service dates, etc.
  • Check batteries and service dates on all smoke/carbon monoxide detectors, alarms and extinguishers.
  • I run the risk of sounding like a Monica here, but when was the last time you cleaned your vacuum cleaner? Or any of your other cleaning appliances or tools for that matter?

If you’ve done any or all of these tasks, then you’re a spring cleaning superstar! And remember, a true spring clean doesn’t stop at your indoor space- it extends to the exterior of your home as well! Use the nice weather as an excuse to address any necessary home maintenance issues and then mosey on over here for some tips on how to get your gardens and patios ready for spring.

I can feel a change in the air already and the days are getting lighter. Oh, I’m sorry, that was just your awesome spring cleaning super power shining like the sun down from the sky!

KBwB-BFlower-50Congratulations! You’re a spring cleaning superstar. If you’re still feeling motivated to get things done, I’ve got more ideas on how to decorate and organize your household here, and more ideas about organizing your life here.

Still feel like you need to brush up on the basics? I’ve got some tips here on how to have the best spring clean ever, and here on how to develop a kick-butt cleaning routine of your own.

Your Guide to a Kick-Butt Cleaning Routine

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My grandma was the queen of cleaning routines and she was really old-school about it, too- Mondays were for washing, Tuesdays are for ironing, etc. You know, kind of like that old song goes.

I’m not so vigilant when it comes to my house-cleaning but you can bet she showed me a thing or two whenever I stayed at her place for the weekend.

Here are some of the things I learned from her on creating your own kick-butt cleaning routine.

She planned it out in advance. Cleaning wasn’t something that was done only when company was coming over, or when it got so bad she couldn’t stand it anymore. Instead, she formed a plan of attack and stuck to it, meaning she still had time to spend with her family and do the things she loved. Oh, and she also was holding down a job at the same time. Did I mention that?

She focused on one thing at a time. I do this version of cleaning sometimes that I like to call “puttering” where I basically float around from room to room completing a small task here or there and never really getting anything accomplished. It feels good, but it’s kind of useless. Again, having a routine keeps you focused and saves you time and trouble.

She focused on up-keep instead of deep-cleaning. Sticking to a plan that focuses on one thing at a time in rotation meant that rooms were tidied more often, and deep-cleaning could be put off until her schedule allowed it.

She kept the house organized. My parents used to job that you could eat off of the floor at my Nana’s house; it was that clean. I tend to agree, but one of the reasons it was easy to maintain such pristine floors was that they were free of clutter. Everything had a place in her house which not only made it easier to find anything you needed; it also made cleaning less of a chore and almost-pleasant?

She stuck to it. There was no deviating from the plan, and if for some reason she wasn’t able to stick to her routine (like if hell had frozen over, for example) you better believe she was back at it as soon as she was able to make up for the time she lost.

But it was never really about the cleanliness for her (ok, it was a little). I think she derived genuine pleasure from homemaking. Growing up her family didn’t have a lot but their house was always spotless because her mother used to say, “We may be poor but we still have pride.”

My Nana was proud, and deservedly so, of the home she made in her adult life. She and my grandpa worked hard to provide for their son (my dad) with all the things she couldn’t have, and surround themselves with the comforts they needed to make a cosy home. They weren’t materially rich, but they took enormous pride in what they did have, and their house was a testament to all they had achieved.

Instead of thinking of cleaning my apartment as a boring chore, I’m trying to reach within myself and see if there’s a small part of my Nana in there so that I too may clean and derive joy from my home just as she did.

And with a kick-butt cleaning routine, I hope you do as well.

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I’m constantly striving to keep things tidy and organized in my personal and professional lives. I’ve collected some of my ideas here, and I’ve got more ideas on how to organize your household here.

There’s always something about that spring air that encourages as to make a fresh start. Click here for how to make this happen in your home, and here for some spring cleaning magic in your favorite outdoor space.

Book Review: Meik Wiking on Getting Hygge with It

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I love the fact that one of today’s buzzwords, hygge, is not only Danish, but also that it has no direct English translation (kind of like the Swedish term fika, which I attempt to explain here). At best, we define it as the “art of being cosy”.

In fact, the Swedes have a similar word, lagom, which is closely (but not directly) related to hygge and it means roughly “just right”. The literal translation doesn’t really do the concept justice- it’s a word that’s often used to illustrate the Swedish way of life as well. It’s the idea of getting just enough of what you need in order to achieve satisfaction in life. It’s not a new idea: the mantra of less-is-more is a common thread across Scandinavian cultures and can be found outside of Europe as well. (The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up, anyone?)

Considering we live in a culture of consumerism and abundance, it makes sense that North American society would latch onto a concept like hygge. We spend so much time making sure our professional lives run like well-oiled machines that we’ve lost the art of relaxation.

It’s no wonder then that how-to-hygge guides such as Meik Wiking’s The Little Book of Hygge are popping up everywhere. We don’t know how to be cosy, and we need someone to show us the way.

Unfortunately, this new interest in making your life more hyggeligt (Danish for hygge-ish) is also a powerful way to tap into consumer trends. Someone sent me this article recently about the dark side of hygge, and how this trend has generated tons of new products and marketing campaigns designed to instill a fear of not being hygge enough- unless you have the right socks, blankets, candles, etc.

It made me hesitate when wanting to write about The Little Book of Hygge, which is too bad, because it’s one of those fabulous books that not only makes an for an interesting read, it also looks great on a coffee table. In fact, it’s one of those that I would revisit again and again, because it reads more like a celebration of the Danish culture and sensibility than it does an instruction manual.

For those who want to take it as such, however, may I direct you to my favorite chapter on achieving hygge on the cheap, which proves the concept is much more about creating an environment than it is buying one.

Hygge isn’t sold in a store. It can’t be achieved by buying the right socks, investing in nicer linen, or by reading any book about the subject that you can get your hands on (although I highly recommend The Little Book of Hygge).

Instead, if I’ve got it right, hygge is about finding the place within yourself where you can be at your most relaxed and natural. Surrounding yourself with the people and things that give you the most pleasure and joy is merely a conduit for getting there.

So go ahead and buy those socks if they make you feel freaking amazing. I think that’s just lagom.

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Psst- wanna see which books have previously graced my bookshelves? Click here. Want even more fun reading recommendations? I’ve got some for you here. Don’t forget to find me on Goodreads so we can snoop each other’s bookshelves and dish about our favourites.

 

The Busy Girl’s Guide to Managing Your Health

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Working at a doctor’s office gives people the impression that you’ve received medical training the same as any nurse. I have to remind people over and over that I’m not a doctor, and I cannot give medical advice. But I have picked up a couple of useful tips that I wish more people knew about managing their own healthcare.

The biggest complaint I receive from patients is that they don’t know how to communicate with their doctor, and they often come away from their appointments with only a vague understanding of their problem. Even though you may feel like you’re being rushed, you need to speak up! You have a right to know and understand what’s going on with you.

You’re also allowed to do your own research although I urge you to proceed with caution- there’s a lot of misinformation out there, so take what you read on the Internet with a grain of salt. I don’t advise trying to diagnose yourself, but I do encourage gathering more background information so you can ask the right questions during your appointment. Your doctor might also be able to provide with a starting point in your research, or have access to resources that may be able to provide you with more information and/or support.

Managing your healthcare is really a collaborative effort between you and your healthcare provider (see here for more reasons on why this is important). They have the knowledge and experience to diagnose and treat ailments, and you have the working knowledge of your own body and mind to help decide what treatment is best for you. Should you take your doctor’s advice? Probably. But they don’t always have time and funding to do the legwork to seek out second opinions, treatment opinions, alternative therapies, or insurance resources you may need or want. Sometimes it’s up to you to take the reins.

Being an active and engaged patient also helps improve your relationship with your doctor. Be honest. Share things about your life. These are all important methods of communicating what’s going on with you, and it actually might make a big difference in the long run.

It’s also the nurses, pharmacists, therapists, counselors and support staff like myself that are assisting the doctors behind the scenes. The more they know you the better they understand what your healthcare needs are, and these relationships in turn might help give you insight into the inner workings of your particular healthcare system.

Going to a doctor’s office can be scary and intimidating- believe me, just because I work for a doctor doesn’t mean I feel any better when I see my own- but knowing what to anticipate, understanding more about the system, and building a working relationship with your doctor can hopefully lead you to a clean bill of health, as well as a sense of empowerment.

And that’s the kind of thing that in my job that keeps me satisfied.

KBwB-BFlower-50I firmly believe that the key to staying healthy is leading a balanced lifestyle. It’s something I’m constantly trying to achieve in my own life, and from time to time I like to share my trials and tribulations here.

Romantic Reads that Will Melt Your Heart

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Even at my most bitter and cynical, I have never been able to resist a good love story. I guess I’ve just always had the ability to look at the world through rose-coloured glasses. Romance novels indulge this part of my personality or at the very least provide me a means of escape when my outlook is looking a little less rosy.

Variety is key to keeping things spicy in a relationship; I feel the same way about the books I read. The occasional bodice-ripper has found its way into my collection once or twice, but these I kind of regard as one-night stands of fiction because they’re short and satisfying, and you’ll probably never read it again.

Other books featuring romances are more like long-term relationships: as you learn more about the characters your affection for them grows, and the more you become invested in their relationship.

For example, in his novel One Day, author David Nicholls chronicles through the history of two best friends whose timing never just seems to be quite right. The more we see their lives take shape over the years, the more we want them to be together. Oh yes, we do.

Other relationship stories feature protagonists that are slightly quirkier and less likely to be so intrinsically linked, like The Solitude of Prime Numbers by Paolo Giordano or The Rosie Project by Graeme Simsion (whose lovable characters have spawned a sequel). In both cases, the reader falls in love with the people more than the actual love story itself, and it’s because of our concern for their well-being that we want things to work out so badly for them. If they’re lucky and things do work out, it feels like emotional catharsis for us.

If things don’t work out, it’s a different kind of emotional catharsis. For example, Claire Calman’s Love is a Four Letter Word had me sobbing by the end, as did The Fault in Our Stars by John Green. (I still can’t bring myself to watch the movie.)

None of these books, however, moved me as deeply as The God of Small Things by Arundhati Roy. It has got to be one of the most beautiful and devastating books that I have ever read. Every so often I found myself having to pause and look up from the page so I could soak it all in. What is it about forbidden love stories that makes them so enticing?!

It’s not hard to be enticed by romance novels, really- the desire to love and be loved is universal. All the heartache, the longing, the disappointment, the hope- we’ve all felt that way at one point or another in our lives.

No wonder Harlequin makes so much money.

Honorable Mentions

Major Pettigrew’s Last Stand by Helen Simonson is proof that love can exist after age 65.

This husband has a strange way of loving his wife in So Much for That by Lionel Shriver, but their relationship is still oddly touching.

If you’re looking for the kind of angsty, teenybopper romance that keeps you on your toes (will they? won’t they?) then you’ll love The Mortal Instruments series by Cassandra Clare. There’s enough butt-kicking and smooching to keep you hooked through all six novels, and if that wasn’t enough for you, The Infernal Devices trilogy can be read as a prequel or as a stand-alone series (although trust me, you’ll want to read them all together).

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I love to read and I love sharing my favorite books with you. (For more reading inspiration click here or here.) Don’t forget to friend me on Goodreads either! Btw: These lists are totally my own creation and I was not paid or perked to share my opinions with you by any author or publishing company.

Fabulous Reads for the Single Girl

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This one is for the single ladies- all those super awesome independent ladies that live by their own rules and don’t let their lives be ruled by their relationship status (or in this case, lack thereof).

In fact, I read an article recently that predicted the rise of the single female professional, and how they would eventually take over the workforce.

Who knows? Girls really might end up running the world.

Here’s some of my my favorite fabulous reads for all of you fierce females out there:

One of the quintessential books for single women would of course have to be Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert. I loved it as much as every other woman that read it, but I think her follow-up, Committed, is definitely underrated. Part essay, part memoir, it’s a pretty interesting look at the institution of marriage and how it has shaped our culture.

If that doesn’t make you re-think the way we look at weddings and marriages these days, then you’ve got to take a look at Uncommon Arrangements: Seven Marriages in Literary London 1910-1939 by Kate Roiphe. You’d be surprised at how many marriages were just as messy as modern ones, except their society had a much lower tolerance for things that are more readily accepted today: Mistresses! Open relationships! Polymory! If you’re a bookworm and you like gossip, this one is for you.

Bachelor Girl by Betsy Israel is another walk through history with a different slant: in it she chronicles the trials and tribulations of the single woman, starting with the spinsters who were put into homes as an act of charity, to the working women of the early 1900s forced to room together in tiny, cramped rooming houses with marriage as they only means of escape. If anything, it will remind you of the privilege you have of being a single woman who is able to read this at her leisure right now.

If you read any book on this list, I hope it’s On My Own: The Art of Being a Woman Alone by Florence Falk. I read it after a really bad break-up and it was a real epiphany; even if you’re in a healthy, committed relationships I think it’s still an important read. Even though it’s aimed at widows or women going through a divorce, it’s not really a book about grief, or life after marriage. It’s about learning how to enjoy your own company, the importance of exploring one’s own interests, and ultimately fostering a healthy relationship with one’s self. As women we place far too much of our self-worth on our relationships and what we can give to other people. Folk’s message is a gentle reminder that being alone allows one the time and space to give back to yourself.

I’m not knocking relationships; it can be really nice to have a partner. But it’s my firm belief that relationships only work if you can still remain true to yourself, and your own interests and values. They key is finding someone that you can learn and grow with along the way. If you’ve found that person, great. Still searching? Sometimes people enter and exit our lives for good reason; most of it is just meeting the right person at the right time.

But if you’re still feeling bad, consider this: you get to have the bed all to yourself.

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I love to read and I love sharing my favorite books with you. (For more reading inspiration click here or here.) Don’t forget to friend me on Goodreads either! Btw: These lists are totally my own creation and I was not paid or perked to share my opinions with you by any author or publishing company.